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Updated: June 1, 2025
In addition to this, the messenger had to be brought up to the unbitted end and the nippers gripped on before those working the capstan on the main deck above could commence heaving round in order to "bring in the shekels, like unto the Israelites of old and the Hebrews of the present day," as Master Larkyns explained to me later; and yet, the commander grew impatient at the delay, in spite of all this having to be done in such a short space of time.
This was a "settler" for poor Mr Jones. "Go on, Larkyns," I said, at this point, to change the conversation and cover the paymaster's confusion as he bent his head over his plate. "I want to hear that yarn of yours about Madeira." "All right, Johnny," he replied in his chaffy way; "only, you don't pronounce the name right, my son.
"I wish you would not call me Squaretoes, Larkyns," said I, peevishly, for he hurt me, squeezing my neck in his tight grip, holding me out of the port as if I were a kitten, so that I could not turn my head round. "I hate nicknames. Do leave me alone, please!" "Ah, would you, now!" he exclaimed in reply, as I tried to wrench myself free.
You're not so awfully smart at rousing out yourself, that you can afford to brag about it! Why, Larkyns had to drag you round the gunroom last night in your nightshirt before he could make you wake up." "Larkyns is a bully!" exclaimed Andrews, angrily. "He's a mean, cowardly bully!"
With which parting shot at what was generally believed to be Mr Stormcock's particular weakness, and one which had delayed his promotion, Larkyns hopped down the after-hatchway on his way to the gunroom, I following after him, nothing loth to have some little refreshment after my long stay on deck, this having made me hungry again.
Such at all events was the opinion Dick Andrews and Teddy Allison and the other cadets had of him, as well as myself; though Fred Larkyns, the big senior midshipman, who patronised us and whom we all liked, he was such a jolly fellow and up to all sorts of fun, said we would find "glass-eye" not half a bad chap "when we came to know him better."
In my time, fellows at sea didn't go in for slops and mollycoddling, as all of you do now. By jingo, the gunroom might as well be turned into a nursery at once, with such a pack of children about!" "At all events, we'd never be at a loss for a nurse, old chappie, with you aboard," said Larkyns, sniggering. "Indeed, you'd make even a better one than we could get ashore."
Most of our fellows were in the attacking column, though neither I nor Larkyns, nor, indeed, any of the other youngsters, were permitted to accompany them, but I can tell of my own knowledge with what wistful eyes we watched their progress from the deck of the little spitfire of a vessel that I was only on board of on sufferance, I having smuggled myself in with Larkyns, who was on duty as midshipman of the launch; for the gunboat had now returned to the barriers further up the river and began hammering again at the batteries, in order to divert their attention from our field column, after assisting to bring up a quota of the force and waiting till they disembarked from the boats.
To illustrate this, I may state without exaggeration that, had it not been for Dr Hellyer's hat taken in connection with the mischievous promptings of that madcap Tom Larkyns, my special chum at the time it is more than probable that the grand climax which so abruptly brought my school-days to a close might have been averted; and, in that case, following out the argument, I should not have gone to sea; have never started on that disastrous voyage round Cape Horn which nearly terminated my then newly-commenced nautical career as summarily as my whilom academical studies had been put a stop to just previously; and, as a natural consequence, I should most certainly have never had the opportunity or necessity for spinning the present yarn.
I left Dick Andrews still rubbing his cheek disconsolately and muttering impotent threats against his now unconscious assailant; but, he didn't do this until he was certain Larkyns could not hear good wishes on his behalf! On going up the hatchway, I found all hands busy scrubbing and washing down the decks, which were in a precious mess.
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