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Updated: June 6, 2025
Then Johnny: "Hevin' a good time out yer, dad?" "Yes, sonny." "To-morrer's Chrismiss, ain't it?" "Yes, Sonny. How does she feel now?" "Better rub a little furder down. Wot's Chrismiss, anyway? Wot's it all about?" "O, it's a day." This exhaustive definition was apparently satisfactory, for there was a silent interval of rubbing.
"Eh?" said Reuben slowly. "Then yo'll be hevin cumpany, fer shure. Good-neet to ye, Misther Helbeck." But there was no great cordiality in his tone, and he touched his cap carelessly, without any sort of unction. The man's manner expressed familiarity of long habit, but little else. Helbeck turned into his own park.
West, I 'spose, o' course, you interjuced yerself? Bein' a preacher, you don't hev to stan' on ceremony like the rest of mankind. You 'ain't? Well, let me hev the pleasure of interjucin' our new school-teacher, Miss Margaret Earle. I 'spect you two 'll be awful chummy right at the start, both bein' from the East that way, an' both hevin' ben to college."
Josh, find summat for the boy to do; 'tain't no use hevin' him 'round idle lookin' for mischief." "Come along to the barn then, What's-yer-name," said Uncle Josh, picking up his hat and sauntering to the door. "Don't be too hard on that little 'un, Hepsy; she don't look over strong." "Mind yer own business, will ye, Josh Strong," was Miss Hepsy's smart rejoinder. "I guess I'm able to mind mine."
"O yes, Daddy, a little; mamma taught me to make all the letters." "Well, Fanny," said he coaxingly, "come here and make a D for me; won't you? "'Tween you and me I've forgot which side the plaguey quirl goes. Here take this ere piece of paper, you might spile the sheet, and I'm mighty particular about hevin it in prime order." As she took the pen Fanny suddenly began to distrust her memory.
"Better," said Frank, with a smile. "Happy?" with a grimace meant to be sympathizing, but which was droll enough to be laughable. "Happier than I was," said the drummer boy. "Happier than I've been for a long time." "What! not happier, now you've lost every thing, than when you was hevin' such luck at play?" "I wasn't happy then. I thought I was. But I was only excited.
Hevin mentions the case of a man who, on being captured by Barbary pirates, swallowed all the money he had on his person. It is said that a certain Italian swallowed 100 louis d'ors at a time. It occasionally happens that false teeth are accidentally swallowed, and even passed through the intestinal tract.
But if you insist on bringin' him to court, let the arrest go to-day we're hevin' some fiesta hyar an' I'll fetch Gene in to El Cajon." "Nope. I reckon I'll take him when I got the chance, before he slopes." "I'm givin' you my word," thundered Stillwell. "I reckon I don't hev to take your word, Bill, or anybody else's."
Why didn't he walk home through the woods, killin' game on the way, an' hevin' the best time he ever knowed? Then thar wuz the keerlessness of A-killus' ma, dippin' him in that river so no arrow could enter him, but holdin' him by the heel an' keepin' it out o' the water, which caused his death the very first time Paris shot it off with his little bow an' arrer.
I know that a passel of big lawyers and judges say that we can't make a effectual door cause there ain't no timber in the constitution fur tu make it of and so some is fur putting up a rickety kind of a barricade fur tu keep folks on Sundays and lection days, and some is fur hevin a gate that them air sarpents inside will hev fur tu pay a big pile of money fur tu get the privilege of openin.
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