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Updated: June 1, 2025
'Admiring the cows, Captain Bouncey? asked she, sidling her elegant figure between our friends in the bay. 'We were just saying how nice it would be to have two or three pretty girls, and a sillabub, under those cedars, replied Captain Bouncey. 'Oh, charming! exclaimed Miss Glitters, her dark eyes sparkling as she spoke.
Guess again! exclaimed her ladyship, laughing. 'I give it up, replied Captain Bouncey. 'So do I, added Captain Seedeybuck. 'That Mr. Sponge is going to be married, enunciated her ladyship, slowly and emphatically, waving her arms. 'Ho-o-ray! Only think of that! exclaimed Captain Quod. 'Old 'hogany-tops goin' to be spliced! 'Did you ever? asked Bob Spangles.
'Let me help you to some of this cold round of beef? exclaimed Captain Bouncey, brandishing the great broad-bladed carving knife. 'Have a slice of 'ot 'am, suggested Captain Quod. 'The finest run I ever rode! observed Mr. Sponge, still endeavouring to get a hearing. 'The pace was terrific! exclaimed Sponge. 'So is this, rejoined Captain Quod, pouring himself out a liberal allowance of gin.
'I think not, replied Captain Cutitfat, with an emphasis. 'Wonder what made Sir Harry ask him! whispered Bouncey, adding, aloud, for the bystanders to hear, 'That's a fine cow, isn't it? 'Very, replied Cutitfat, in the same key, adding, in a whisper, with a shrug of his shoulders, 'Wonder what made him ask half the people that are here!
The leaders of Sir Harry Scattercash's drag start at a blind fiddler's dog stationed at the gate leading into the fields, a wheel catches the post, and in an instant the sham captains are scattered about the road: Bouncey on his head, Seedeyhuck across the wheelers, Quod on his back, and Sir Harry astride the gate.
'The captain's locked the door and taken the key with him, replied the footman; 'he said he'd be back in a day or two. 'Where is he gone? The man smiled. 'Borrowed, observed Captain Quod, with an emphasis. 'Indeed! exclaimed Sir Harry, adding, 'well, I thought that was Nabbum's gig with the old grey. 'He'll not be back in a hurry, observed Bouncey.
'Why there, replied Miss Glitters, nodding towards a clump of evergreens. 'Well, under the hollies, rejoined Miss Glitters; adding, 'it was Captain Bouncey who said they were cedars. 'Ah, I meant those beyond, observed the captain, nodding in another direction. 'Well, never mind what they are, resumed the lady; 'let us have a dance under them.
'Don't know, replied Seedeybuck, twirling his moustache, 'don't know have a presentiment he won't. 'Sure to come! exclaimed Captain Bouncey, knocking the ashes off his cigar on to the fine Tournay carpet.
'Quite, observed Seedeybuck, determined to make a set against him, instead of cultivating his acquaintance. 'This Mr. Sponge won't be any great addition to our party, I think, muttered Captain Bouncey to Captain Cutitfat, as they stood within the bay of the library window, in apparent contemplation of the cows, but in reality conning the Sponge matter over in their minds.
'Two on 'em! exclaimed Captain Bouncey. 'Three! shouted Sir Harry. 'We'll have a regular set-to, observed Miss Howard, who was fond of champagne. 'New Year's Day, replied Bouncey, 'and ought to be properly observed. Presently, Fiz z, pop, bang!
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