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Updated: June 29, 2025
"Well, they ain't actilly sore, so much as sort o' dazzly and dim," replied the man, in evident relief. "I been tryin' mostly everything this last four year, but I got better hopes now nor ever I had before. A boundary man he give me a little bottle o' stuff the other day; an' it seems to be about the correct thing.
But hullo! what onder the sun is she about, why her voice is goin' down her own throat, to gain strength, and here it comes out agin as deep toned as a man's; while that dandy feller along side of her, is singin' what they call falsetter. They've actilly changed voices. The gall sings like a man, and that screamer like a woman.
It's like a-puttin' ginger under a horse's tail; it makes him carry up real handSUM, I tell you. When I was a boy, I was always late to school: well father's preachin' I didn't mind much, but I never could bear to hear mother say, 'Why Sam, are you actilly up for all day? Well, I hope your airly risin' won't hurt you, I declare.
It actilly makes me feel spotty on the back.1 When I was to London last, I was asked to attend a meetin' for foundin' a college for our coloured brethren. Uncle Tom had set some folks half crazy, and others half mad, and what he couldn't do Aunt Harriet did. 'Well, sais I to myself, 'is this bunkum, or what in natur is it?
I actilly dream on that man in my sleep sometimes, and then I see him as plain as if he was afore me, and I go over it all agin till I come to that are shot, and then I leap right up in bed and scream like all vengeance, and your mother, poor old critter, says, Sam, says she, what on airth ails you to make you act so like old Scratch in your sleep I do believe there's somethin or another on your conscience.
She was so thin, she actilly seemed as if she would have to lean agin the wall to support herself when she scolded, and I had to look twice at her before I could see her at all, for I warn't sure she warn't her own shadow." "Good gracious!" said the doctor, "what a description! but go on." "'Is the mistress to home? said I. "'I have no mistress, said she.
Both t'other ones he'd seen over and over agin, but Niagara he'd never sot eyes on. "So as soon as he arrives, he goes into the public room, and looks at the white waters, and, sais he, 'Waiter, sais he, 'is them the falls down there? a-pintin' by accident in the direction where the Falls actilly was. "'Yes, Sir, sais the waiter. "'Hem! sais Rufe, 'them's the Falls of Niagara, eh!
They actilly expect the sun to shine, and the rain to fall, through their little House of Assembly. What have you done for us? they keep axin their members. Who did you spunk up to last Session? jist as if all legislation consisted in attackin some half dozen puss proud folks at Halifax, who are jist as big noodles as they be themselves.
"'Mr Sorrow, sais aunty, 'I is actilly ashamed ob you to name a dish arter a yaller gall dat way, and call it Charlotte; it's ondecent, specially afore dese niggars. "'Law sakes, sais I, 'Miss Phillis, does you tink I ab no sense; I hate a yaller gall as I do pyson.
"'Well, says he to me, with the air of a man that chucks a cent into a beggar's hat, 'a fine day this, sir. 'Do you actilly think so? said I, and I gave it the real Connecticut drawl. 'Why, said he, quite short, 'if I didn't think so, I wouldn't say so. 'Well, says I, 'I don't know, but if I did think so, I guess I wouldn't say so. 'Why not? says he.
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