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'What do you mean by a pike-keeper? inquired Mr. Peter Magnus. 'The old 'un means a turnpike-keeper, gen'l'm'n, observed Mr. Samuel Weller, in explanation. 'Oh, said Mr. Pickwick, 'I see. Yes; very curious life. Very uncomfortable. 'They're all on 'em men as has met vith some disappointment in life, said Mr. Weller, senior. 'Ay, ay, said Mr. Pickwick. 'Yes.
Well, what with your mother-in-law a-worrying me to go, and what with my looking for'ard to seein' some queer starts if I did, I put my name down for a ticket; at six o'clock on the Friday evenin' I dresses myself out wery smart, and off I goes with the old 'ooman, and up we walks into a fust-floor where there was tea-things for thirty, and a whole lot o' women as begins whisperin' to one another, and lookin' at me, as if they'd never seen a rayther stout gen'l'm'n of eight-and-fifty afore.
Winkle all wery nice gen'l'm'n, Sir, as you'll be wery happy to have the acquaintance on; so the sooner you commits these here officers o' yourn to the tread mill for a month or two, the sooner we shall begin to be on a pleasant understanding. Business first, pleasure arterwards, as King Richard the Third said when he stabbed the t'other king in the Tower, afore he smothered the babbies.
Trotter, as the gen'l'm'n said, wen he got two doubtful shillin's and sixpenn'orth o' pocket-pieces for a good half-crown. 'It is indeed, replied Job, shaking his head. 'There is no deception now, Mr. Weller. Tears, said Job, with a look of momentary slyness 'tears are not the only proofs of distress, nor the best ones. 'No, they ain't, replied Sam expressively. 'They may be put on, Mr.
'And how's father? said Sam. At this inquiry, Mrs. Weller raised her hands, and turned up her eyes, as if the subject were too painful to be alluded to. Mr. Stiggins groaned. 'What's the matter with that 'ere gen'l'm'n? inquired Sam. 'He's shocked at the way your father goes on in, replied Mrs. Weller. 'Oh, he is, is he? said Sam. 'And with too good reason, added Mrs. Weller gravely. Mr.
'What should you say to a drop o' beer, gen'l'm'n? suggested the mottled-faced man. 'And a little bit o' cold beef, said the second coachman. 'Or a oyster, added the third, who was a hoarse gentleman, supported by very round legs. 'Hear, hear! said Pell; 'to congratulate Mr. Weller, on his coming into possession of his property, eh? Ha! ha! 'I'm quite agreeable, gen'l'm'n, answered Mr.
'This is dreadful. 'Not a bit on it, mum, replied Sam. 'Is it, shepherd? Mr. Stiggins raised his hands, and turned up his eyes, until the whites or rather the yellows were alone visible; but made no reply in words. 'Is this here gen'l'm'n troubled with any painful complaint? said Sam, looking to his mother-in-law for explanation. 'The good man is grieved to see you here, Samuel, replied Mrs.
Being a wery reg'lar gen'l'm'n, he din'd ev'ry day at the same place, where it was one-and-nine to cut off the joint, and a wery good one-and-nine's worth he used to cut, as the landlord often said, with the tears a-tricklin' down his face, let alone the way he used to poke the fire in the vinter time, which wos a dead loss o' four-pence ha'penny a day, to say nothin' at all o' the aggrawation o' seein' him do it.
'These other gentlemen, I presume, are legatees, are they? inquired Pell, with a congratulatory smile. 'Sammy is a leg-at-ease, replied Mr. Weller; 'these other gen'l'm'n is friends o' mine, just come to see fair; a kind of umpires. 'Oh! said Pell, 'very good. I have no objections, I'm sure. I shall want a matter of five pound of you before I begin, ha! ha! ha!
'Ven the lady and gen'l'm'n as keeps the hot-el first begun business, they used to make the beds on the floor; but this wouldn't do at no price, 'cos instead o' taking a moderate twopenn'orth o' sleep, the lodgers used to lie there half the day.
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