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A very different account, this, from all I have heard hitherto; but perhaps yours is the true version. Go on." But very soon, poor Zuma was again interrupted by exclamations of surprise. Nay, even to the very end of his mountings. But when he had done, Donjalolo observed, that if from any cause Zuma was in error or obscure, Varnopi would not fail to set him right. So Varnopi was called upon.
I drove west, then north, toward Zuma Beach. Twenty minutes later, I turned down a long driveway to Rama's house, which he claimed that he rented from Goldie Hawn. Hawn wanted to sell; Ford wanted to buy; and Rama, Anne, and I wanted to see, in real life, a favorite image from the magic screen.
With a frankness perfectly commendable in an African widow, and wholly at variance with the hypocritical and counterfeit bashfulness of the English one, the widow Zuma at once exposed the situation of her heart, by declaring that she sincerely loved white men, and as her visitor belonged to that species, he saw himself at once the object of her affections, and the envy of all the aspiring young bachelors of the town, who had been for some time directing a vigorous attack against the widow's heart.
On reaching this ferry, Clapperton was told, that, so far from his baggage having been sent on to Koolfu, it had been stopped at Wawa, by order of the governor; but this extraordinary proceeding was in some degree accounted for, as it appeared that although neither Clapperton nor Lander would have any thing to do with the corpulent widow Zuma, she was determined not to let them off so easily, and, to their great surprise, the travellers heard that she was at a neighbouring village, from which she sent them a present of some boiled rice and a fowl, giving them, at the same time, a pressing invitation to come and stop at her house.
The denouement of an English court-ship is frequently distinguished by an elopement; but although it was the last of Clapperton's thoughts to run away with such an unwieldy mass of human flesh, yet she very delicately proposed to him, that she would send for a malem, or man of learning, who should read the fetah to them, or, in other words, that no time whatever should be lost in endowing the widow Zuma with all claim, right, title, and privilege to be introduced at the court of Wawa, or any other court in Africa, or even at that time at the virtuous and formal court of queen Charlotte of England, as the spouse of Captain Clapperton, of the royal navy of Great Britain.
It might be the mere effect of female curiosity, to ascertain what kind of a man's visage could possibly be concealed under such a preposterous hat, or it might be for any other purpose, which his penetration could not discover, but certain it was, that ever and anon a black visage, with white and pearly teeth, and an expressive grin of the countenance, somewhat similar to that of the monkey in a state of excited pleasure, protruded itself under the canopy of straw, which protected his head, but he, who had withstood the amorous advances of the widow Zuma, or of the fat and deaf widow Laddie, could not be supposed to yield to the fascinations and allurements of a Badagry houri.
This was the most affecting instance of genuine friendship, and indeed the only one, that came to the hearing of the travellers since they had been in the country. Yarro was much attached to the widow Zuma, and she would have fled to Kiama, instead of going to Boosa, if her intentions had not been suspected, and her actions narrowly watched by the ruler of Wowow.
They then arrived at Wa-wa, a large city, through which the Houssa caravans pass, and which has a population of 15,000. The inhabitants are dissolute and extravagant, spending all their money in drinking and festivity. The ladies were very attentive to the English, especially a fat widow called Zuma, who even pressed marriage upon Clapperton, after she had exhibited to him all her wealth.
The governor's son informed Clapperton, that his baggage would not be allowed to leave Wawa till the widow Zuma was sent back. "What the d -l have I to do with the widow?" asked Clapperton. "You have," he replied; "and you must come back with me and take her." Clapperton, however, refused, in the most positive terms, to have any thing to do with or to say to her.
When it is also considered, that the sultan invariably receives as a tax the hump of every bullock that is slaughtered, weighing from twelve to fifteen pounds, and the choicest part of the animal, it is somewhat surprising that the country does not abound with hump-backed tyrants, similar to the notorious Richard of England; at all events, Lander had to congratulate himself that the humps, or rumps, were sent to him daily by the king's wives, we will suppose, out of the pure spirit of charity and benevolence, on the same principle, perhaps, that the widow Zuma invited Lander to take up his abode in her house.
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