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Updated: June 3, 2025
Have you ever tried writing the book for a musical comedy?" "A what?" "A musical comedy. A forty-legged thing you see on Broadway." Mr. Smilk pondered. "No, sir," he replied, allowing himself a prideful leer; "if I do say it as shouldn't, I'm an honest thief." "Bless my soul," cried Mr. Yollop delightedly; "you get brighter every minute.
Yollop, compressing his lips as a far-away look came into his eyes. "If I live to be a thousand years old, I'll never forget the way she talked to me when I finally succeeded in telling her I was busy and she would have to excuse me. It was something appalling." "Course. I suppose I got myself to blame," lamented Cassius ruefully.
"Well, I'm not a lawyer. Nevertheless, I must decline to act as a depository for your obviously ill-gotten gains." "Gee, that's tough," lamented Mr. Smilk. "Wouldn't you just let me drop it behind something or other, that book case over there say, and I'll promise to send for it some night when you're out, " "No use, Cassius," broke in Mr. Yollop, firmly. "I'm deaf to your entreaties.
Yollop: "I can only answer that question by saying that he went down when I struck him. I don't know how hard or how easy it is to knock a man down." Counsel: "But you admit you were surprised?" Yollop: "Yes. I was surprised." Counsel, shaking his finger and speaking with something like malevolence in his voice and manner: "Don't you know, Mr.
Yollop, didn't this defendant state to you that he had been unable to get work and that his wife and family were in such desperate straits that he was forced to commit a crime against the State in order to preserve them from actual starvation?" Yollop: "He did not." Counsel: "You are quite positive about that, are you?" Yollop: "Yes."
Yollop, who had been leaning forward in his chair for the better part of the afternoon with one hand cupped behind his ear and the other manipulating the disc in a vain but determined effort to hear what was going on, suddenly relaxed into a comfortable, satisfied attitude and smiled triumphantly. He knew what was coming. And so did Smilk. Mrs. Morton was a plump, bobbed-hair blond of thirty.
Yollop: "I was surprised to find how easy it is to knock a man down." Counsel. "I see. You had never knocked a man down before. Is that so?" Yollop: "I had never even struck a man before." Counsel: "And yet you found it singularly easy to deliver a blow on the jaw of an armed man with sufficient force to knock him down?"
If one of my pals was to happen to look in here right now and see me with my feet in these drawers and you squattin' on yours, well, I can't help laughin' myself, and God knows I hate to." "You were saying a little while ago," said Mr. Yollop, shifting his position slightly, "that you rather fancy the idea of being arrested. Isn't that a little quixotic, Mr. Smilk?" "Huh?"
"One!" began Cassius ominously. "Do you really mean it?" she cried, and glanced frantically over her shoulder at the open closet door. "Two," replied Cassius. "Count slowly," implored Mr. Yollop. "You you may tie my hands, Critt Crittenden, " chattered the lady. "You mustn't bite or scratch him," warned Cassius. Sixty seconds later, Mrs.
Counsel: "And yet you would have the jury believe that this big, strong, well-nourished man, permitted you By the by, how much do you weigh, Mr. Yollop!" Yollop: "About 145 pounds, in my clothes." Counsel: "You are six feet tall, I should say?" Yollop: "Lacking a quarter of an inch." Counsel: "Ahem!
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