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Updated: May 26, 2025
"Come on, Tulke, cried Naughten, from the prefects' brake. "Yes, we're comin'. Shove up and make room, you Collegers. You've all got to be back next term, with your 'Yes, sir, and 'Oh, sir, an' 'No sir' an' 'Please sir'; but before we say good-by we're going to tell you a little story. Kick that hat-box under the seat, an' don't crowd your Uncle Stalky."
But the dignity of the Sixth was to be upheld. So Carson began hurriedly: "Look here, you chaps, I've we've sent for you to tell you you're a good deal too cheeky to the Sixth have been for some time and and we've stood about as much as we're goin' to, and it seems you've been cursin' and swearin' at Tulke on the Bideford road this afternoon, and we're goin' to show you you can't do it.
We didn't know then why he was so anxious to stop us, but at five minutes to four, when we were in Yeo's shop, we saw Tulke in broad daylight, with his house-cap on, kissin' an' huggin' a woman on the pavement. Is that decent enough for you?" "I didn't I wasn't." "We saw you!" said Beetle. A new and heaven-cleft path opened before him that instant.
Stalky pointed to the unconscious Tulke. "He've niver been kissed by no sort or manner o' maid in hees borned laife, Mary. Oh, 'tees shaamful!" "Whutt's to do with me? 'Twill come to 'un in the way o' nature, I rackon." She nodded her head sagaciously. "You niver want me to kiss un sure-ly?" "Give 'ee half-a-crown if 'ee will," said Stalky, exhibiting the coin.
That sounds as if the chap were anxious an' excited. Cui flavam religas in rosa Whose flavor is relegated to a rose. Mutatosque Deos flebit in antro." "Mute gods weepin' in a cave," suggested Stalky. "'Pon my Sam, Horace needs as much lookin' after as Tulke." They edited him faithfully till it was too dark to see. "'Aha! Elucescebat, quoth our friend. Ulpian serves my need, does it?
"Tried to cover it all up with a conspiracy, did you?" said Stalky. "Direct insult to all three of us," said McTurk. "A most filthy mind you have, Tulke." "I'll shove you fellows outside the door if you go on like this," said Carson angrily. "That proves it's a conspiracy," said Stalky, with the air of a virgin martyr.
The three took no sort of notice. They were on lawful pass. Tulke repeated his question hotly, for he had suffered many slights from Number Five study, and fancied that he had at last caught them tripping. "What the devil is that to you?" Stalky replied with his sweetest smile. "Look here, I'm not goin' I'm not goin' to be sworn at by the Fifth!" sputtered Tulke.
"I I I" Tulke began. "Don't let that young devil start jawing." "If you've anything to say you must say it decently, said Carson. "Decently? I will. Now look here. When we went into Bideford we met this ornament of the Sixth is that decent enough? hanging about on the road with a nasty look in his eye.
"Tulke has followed us. He's comin' up the street now." "They've niver put us out o' bounds," said Mother Yeo. "Bide yeou still, my little dearrs." She rolled into the inner room to make the score. "Mary," said Stalky, suddenly, with tragic intensity. "Do 'ee lov' me, Mary?" "Iss fai! Talled 'ee zo since yeou was zo high!" the damsel replied. "Zee 'un comin' up street, then?"
It was then that Tulke found his way blocked by a tall daughter of Devon that county of easy kisses, the pleasantest under the sun. He dodged aside politely. She reflected a moment, and laid a vast hand upon his shoulder. "Where be 'ee gwaine tu, my dearr?" said she. Over the handkerchief he had crammed into his mouth Stalky could see the boy turn scarlet. "Gie I a kiss!
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