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Updated: June 2, 2025
Then they made a collection for the waiters, and the three waitresses, which amounted to eleven shillings, for which the host returned thanks on behalf of the recipients, who were all smiles. Then Mr Rushton requested the landlord to serve drinks and cigars all round. Some had cigarettes and the teetotallers had lemonade or ginger beer.
They were not teetotallers and they never went to either church or chapel, but they spent little in drink or on any form of enjoyment an occasional glass of beer or a still rarer visit to a music-hall and now and then an outing more or less similar to this being the sum total of their pleasures.
Then he proceeded to pour into my attentive ear this gruesome tale of mystery: “We three—that is, myself, yon tall bearded Briton,” pointing to the glass door of the refreshment-room, “whose name is Jack Hobson, and young Emmanuel Topp, junior partner in a great beer firm, whom you may behold now at his fifth bowl of tea and his seventh muffin—are teetotallers——”
He had seen pain in Eleanor's eyes when he had spoken some swift and biting word to her, and then, all repentance, he had tried to kiss the pain from her.... To-night, in this grubby bedroom, smelling of teetotallers and grim, forbidding people in whom are to be found none of the genial foibles of ordinary, hearty men, he felt an excess of remorse for any unkind thing he had ever said to Eleanor.
There are health-fooders, now. I'd rather be that. And teetotallers. A man told me he was a teetotaller to-day. I'll go in for that if you like, because I don't much like wine. And I hate beer. These are rather nice chocolates I mean, they were." The indefatigable friend had further informed him that one might be a Fabian and have a red tie, and encourage the other Fabians to wash.
"Fond o' children?" ses Sam. Mr. Goodman nodded. "Fond of everybody," he ses. "That's 'ow Peter is," ses Ginger; "specially young " Peter Russet and Sam both turned and looked at 'im very sharp. "Children," ses Ginger, remembering 'imself, "and teetotallers. I s'pose it is being a teetotaller 'imself." "Is Peter a teetotaller?" ses Mr. Goodman. "I'd no idea of it. Wot a joyful thing!"
For mercy's sake don't let father or mother know it; they are such rabid teetotallers, that they would not sleep a wink to-night if they thought there was any spirits about the place. 'I am mum, says I. And the boys took a jug out of a hollow stump, and gave me some first-rate peach brandy.
Jimmy disregarded the question, and went on, "Were you lonely when you first came home, before you married? Did you have to go through it, or had you people of your own?" He did not put it clearly, but the other showed he understood when he answered, "My people are all in the North, and they're Nonconformists and teetotallers. I went up once, and the governor and I quarrelled.
Bill told 'er all about it in the morning; and then with tears in his eyes 'e went downstairs and emptied a little barrel o' beer down the sink. For the fust two or three days 'e went about with a thirst that he'd ha' given pounds for if 'e'd been allowed to satisfy it, but arter a time it went off, and then, like all teetotallers, 'e began to run down drink and call it pison.
"Oh, sir," said Graves, rather huffed, "it was only a phraseology of mine, meaning that there was no dependence to be placed on 'em." "Well but, Juniper, I am not speaking of hypocrites or sham teetotallers, but of the real ones. There's Mr Oliphant and the whole family at the rectory, you'll not pretend, I suppose, that they drink on the sly?"
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