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Updated: July 2, 2025
'It's a poor business distillin' in these times, wi' the teetotallers yowlin' about the nation's shame and the way to lose the war. I'm a temperate man mysel', but I would think shame to spile decent folks' business. If the Government want to stop the drink, let them buy us out. They've permitted us to invest good money in the trade, and they must see that we get it back.
I need only point you to the worthy occupants of this platform. Who are the healthiest among them? The cold water drinkers the teetotallers! We can assure you that we have not lost a pound of flesh, by abandoning our cups.
Colonel Thomas Talbot of Malahide, "a fierce little Irishman who hated Scotchmen and women, turned teetotallers out of his house, and built the only good road in the province," made the beginnings of settlement midway on Lake Erie.
There was also a large dancing-platform roofed with canvas, which was very well frequented. Most popular of all, perhaps, were the refreshment-bars, where the publicans gave the liquor free, but charged the usual prices for the good of the hospital fund; and the teetotallers, not to be outdone, managed a very comfortable tea-room.
"Ah, that's right enough," said the doctor; "they are all what you say, and they do deserve better treatment of their country. I mean, ha, ha, ha! to make teetotallers of them this trip. I'm not going to have the men poisoned with that red hot country arrack, I can tell them." "It is terrible stuff, I believe." "Terrible?
"I hear the sound of water not far-off; and I don't doubt there's enough to quench the thirst of all the teetotallers in the colony." "Phew!" replied Juniper, "it'd be madness to drink cold water in the heat we're in. Why, I'm in such a state of respiration myself, sir, that it'd be little better than courting self-destruction if I were to drink such chilly quotations."
It has been knocked in so solemnly and for so long by the schoolmasters and the newspapers, by cheap text-books and profound historians, by district visitors and cabinet ministers, by clergymen and secularists, by labour leaders, teetotallers, anti-gamblers, and public benefactors of every sort, that I am sure it will need a brighter and braver word than mine to knock it out again.
Perforce, I felt obliged to follow his lead, for only a guzzling brute could have bibbed alone, surrounded by four teetotallers; but, deprived of even an innocent glass of Riviera beer, my soul thirsted for a revenge which could not be quenched with iced water; and I took it without waiting for repentance to set in.
It is like the controversy of the teetotallers; some who would be ashamed of taking intoxicating liquors, except as medicine, will soon throw such physics to the dogs or on the dunghill. Ed. This is one of Bunyan's home-thrusts at Popery. Classing the mass, our lady-saints, and beasts, among the idols or objects of divine worship.
Although most of them were regular attendants at some place of so-called worship, they were not all teetotallers, and some of them were now in different stages of intoxication, not because they had had a great deal to drink, but because being usually abstemious it did not take very much to make them drunk.
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