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Updated: July 15, 2025
They never was no cook could stand up agin' the disgraceful habit o' takin' too much and doin' too little. Get 'im under the in-floo-ence." "And then what?" "Then well, ain't they a lot o' good blue water floatin' around atop the fishes? Ain't they some accommodatin' sharks swimmin' atop the water?"
"Isn't that a harpoon down there in the boat?" the capitalist asked calmly. "Yes, sah, oh, yes, sah, but Lordy, sah, yo' can' do nuffin wif a sea vampa. No, sah. Why, jes' oveh yondah dey was a big schooneh towed out to sea by a vampa." "A schooner?" "Yes, sah, a seven'y-ton schooneh. Yes, sah. He mus' ha' been a big fellah an' goin' swimmin' along he struck de anchoh chain wif his hohns.
I've been swimming since well, an hour or two ago, and I am just a little chilled." He shivered again. "Swimmin'! An hour or two? Where on earth did you come from?" "Oh, I fell overboard from a steamer off here somewhere. Another and emphatic shiver caused him to pause. The lightkeeper awoke to the realities of the situation. "Good land of love!" he exclaimed. "What am I thinkin' of?
But she had to go from our house to Uncle Ornaldo Smithses, and had promised to visit friends out to Ohio durin' the summer. I hated to have her go. Soon after, Whitfield wuz obleeged to go to Canada agin on that bizness and go through them Thousand Islands, and said he felt like jumpin' off the boat, swimmin' ashore and buyin' the hull on 'em, they wuz so entrancin'ly lovely.
When we come ter ther other side I waited fer them ter land, then I turns an' swims back, ther hawgs follerin'. Back ercross I goes erg'in, an' ther pork keeps right on my trail. "Purty soon I see they ain't swimmin' so spry, an' I allow they're gittin' some tired.
"You was takin' a private lesson in plain and fancy swimmin' on a pink sofa cushion; and that there ancient and honourable milk crock was willed to you by the Mound-buildin' Aztecs; and a big bear come in the night and et up your wild strawberries which was a great pity, too, seein' they're worth thirty cents a quart right this minute on the New York market; and you killed them two pedigreed Leghorn woodcocks with a bow and arrows in the forest the forest whutever you jest now called it.
"He was havin' such a good time, and he was swimmin' around so comf'table and it wasn't polite to 'sturb him. Can't I have Silver?" "We'll go down and ask Silver what he thinks about it," said the Little Doctor, anxious to make peace between her two idols. "And we'll see if Daddy Chip can get the hat. You must wear a hat, honey; you know what mother told you and you know mother keeps her word."
At that, says Bull, as much as a hundred an' twenty-seven of 'em, as near as he could count, came swimmin' after him and chased the schooner until she was hull down on the horizon, an' then they give up an' swam back to home, sobbin' like babies.
"Why," sez he, "you know they would look handsome swimmin' round in the water in front of the hotel. And he might gin out, if he wuz a mind to, that they wuz a new kind of swans; they do such things at Coney Island." Sez I, "Are you a deacon or are you not? Are you a pillow in the meetin' house or hain't you a pillow?" "I didn't say he had got to do thus and so, I said he might if he wanted to."
An' o' the fourth day, i' the efternoon, I gaed to my wark wi' my heid swimmin' and my hert like to brak for verra glaidness. "But hoo did ye fin' that oot, Thomas?" asked Annie, trembling. "Weel, lassie," answered Thomas, with solemn conviction in every tone, "it's my firm belief that, say what they like, there is, and there can be, but one way o' comin' to the knowledge o' that secret."
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