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Updated: May 21, 2025
In five minutes she was feeding the child with warm milk from a spoon, and proclaiming that he ate "like a Major!" The boys, gaining more and more confidence, were now close at her knee, and watched the process with eager eyes. "He's swallering like anything!" cried Lemuel. "I can see him do it with his throat, same as anybody." "See him grab the spoon!" said Joseph. "My! ain't he strong?
I was passable enough when I went with the tinker, though nothing to boast of then; but what with blowing the fire with my mouth when I was young, and spileing my complexion, and singeing my hair off, and swallering the smoke, and what with being nat'rally unfort'nate in the way of running against hot metal and marking myself by sich means, and what with having turn-ups with the tinker as I got older, almost whenever he was too far gone in drink which was almost always my beauty was queer, wery queer, even at that time.
"Why, this way: you can gulp all you want, so long as you keep swallering; but you can't take the bottle out of your mouth and commence again. Soon's you quit swallering it's Sam's turn." "No; you can have next, Penrod," said Sam. "Well, anyway, I mean M'rice has to give the bottle up the minute he stops swallering." Craft appeared upon the face of Maurice, like a poster pasted on a wall.
His eyes gleamed with cunning and malicious triumph, sidewise, at the stunned conspirators; he was fulfilling the conditions of the draught, not once breaking the thread of that marvelous swallering. His audience stood petrified. Already Maurice had swallowed more than they had given Duke and still the liquor receded in the uplifted bottle!
"Harry took it, an' the fuss he made you'd ha' thought he was swallering a football. It stuck all round his mouth, and he carried on so dredful that the other invalids was half sick afore it came to them.
Paul declared that beer was delicious and peculiarly acceptable after public speaking, and demonstrated his appreciation by draining the glass which the maid poured out. "You wanted that badly, sonny," said Barney Bill. "The next thing to drinking oneself is to see another chap what enjoys swallering it." "Bill!" said Jane reprovingly.
"'Oh, yes, sir, answered the waiter; 'master, he were examined, to begin with; and then Brigmawl, the head-waiter, he give his evidence; but, lor', sir, without unfriendliness to William Brigmawl, which me and Brigmawl have been fellow-servants these eleven year, our head-waiter is that wrapped up in hisself, and his own cravats, and shirt-fronts, and gold studs, and Albert chain, that he'd scarcely take notice of an earthquake swallering up half the world before his eyes, unless the muck and dirt of that earthquake was to spoil his clothes.
"I can drink so long I don't stop swallering?" "Yes; that's it." "All right!" he cried. "Gimme the bottle!" And Penrod placed it in his hand. "You promise to let me drink until I quit swallering?" Maurice insisted. "Yes!" said both boys together. With that, Maurice placed the bottle to his lips and began to drink. Penrod and Sam leaned forward in breathless excitement.
"I guess we won't HAVE no glue-works over here not very long, if we got to compete with the sized thing you got over there!" Lamb chuckled. "I kind of had some such notion," he said. "You see, Virgil, I couldn't exactly let you walk off with it like swallering a pat o' butter, now, could I? It didn't look exactly reasonable to expect me to let go like that, now, did it?"
"Well, sir," he remarked, "you fellers are certainly square I gotta say that much. Honest, Penrod, I thought you was after me! I did think so," he added sunnily; "but now I guess you like me, or else you wouldn't of stuck to it about lettin' me drink it all if I kept on swallering." He chatted on with complete geniality, smoking his cigarette in content.
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