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Updated: May 9, 2025
"The wrongs of publishers" is a good red-herring to draw across the track, a smart counter-cry. But publishers have still the game in their hands all along the line. Not a few still keep their accounts secret, still recklessly supply themselves with that opportunity which, the proverb says, makes even honest men thieves. As for America what goes on across that week of ocean who dares conjecture?
We'll see if your dog is to take possession of my bedroom again." "Mein Gott! yes," replied the corporal again. Do you understand, corporal?" "Mein Gott! yes, I understand what you say; but what is it that you are to prepare?" "What? why, a red-herring, to be sure." "But how will a red-herring kill a body or a dog?" "Lord, corporal, how stupid you are! I'm to put arsenic in."
"And ye see," concluded Poundtext, with a deep sigh, "that they will then possess a majority in the council; for Langcale, though he has always passed for one of the honest and rational party, cannot be suitably or preceesely termed either fish, or flesh, or gude red-herring whoever has the stronger party has Langcale."
The next morning Vanslyperken did not fail to order the red-herring for his breakfast, but took good care not to eat it. Smallbones, who had been duly apprised of the whole plan, asked his master, as he cleared away, whether he should keep the red-herring for the next day; but Mr Vanslyperken very graciously informed him that he might eat it himself.
Sitting down in one's poverty, and thinking over one's grand relations, is for all the world like Paddy eating his potatoes, and pointing at the red-herring even the look of what he dare not taste flavours his meal. 'At least, sir, you have found an excuse for our conduct.
Snarleyyow, when he saw the lad go down on his knees, flew at him, and threw him on his back, growling over him, and occasionally looking at his master. "Come here, Snarleyyow," said Mr Vanslyperken. "Come here, sir, and lie down." But Snarleyyow had not forgotten the red-herring; so in revenge, he first bit Smallbones in the thigh, and then obeyed his master. "Get up, sir," cried the lieutenant.
Among other disqualifications of the animal, be it observed, that he had no nose except for a red-herring, or a post by the way side. Mr Vanslyperken discontinued his orders, took his hand out of his great coat pocket, wiped the drop from off his nose, and then roared out, "How dare you appear on the quarter-deck of a king's ship, sir, with a red-herring in your fist?"
The crew made up their minds that the dog was supernatural; and old Coble told them that he told them so. Mr Vanslyperken made up his mind that Smallbones was supernatural, and the corporal shook his head, and told him that he told him so. The reason why Snarleyyow did not die was simply this, that he did not eat the red-herring.
For then they will remain neither boys nor men, neither fish, flesh, nor good red-herring: having learnt a great deal too much, and yet not enough; and sown their wild oats, without having the advantage of reaping them. But Tom was always a brave, determined, little English bull-dog, who never knew when he was beaten; and on and on he held, till he saw a long way off the red buoy through the fog.
Would I believe the dictum of that low-born dog, when he told me that in head-quarters" and my father elevated his hand toward heaven "they cared this pinch of snuff, whether upon a Friday I ate a rasher or red-herring?" Two episodes interrupted the polemical disquisition.
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