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Updated: May 9, 2025
"Yes," replied his master, fixing his little grey eye sternly on him, "the red-herring." "It's gone, sir!" replied Smallbones, with alarm. "Gone! gone where?" "If you please, sir, I didn't a-think that you would have touched it after the dog had had it in his nasty mouth; and so, sir if you please, sir " "And so what?" said Vanslyperken, compressing his thin lips.
I could make neither head nor tail of it; it was neither fish, flesh, nor good red-herring; it was all about my lord, and Sir Harry, and the captain. But I never met with such nonsensical fellows in my life. Their talk was no more like that of my old landlord, who was a lord you know, nor the captain of our fencibles, than chalk is like cheese.
He was born within seventy miles of that very spot, but had not the smallest notion before, of such a holiday as Pinkster. There are few blacks in Connecticut, I believe; and those that are there, are so ground down in the Puritan mill, that they are neither fish, flesh, nor red-herring, as we say of a nondescript.
When Smallbones had retired, with the empty bread-bags under his arm, he remained some time reflecting at the porch, and then having apparently made up his mind, he walked to a chandler's shop just over the bridge of the canal opposite, and purchased a needle, some strong twine, and a red-herring. He also procured, "without purchase," as they say in our War Office Gazettes, a few pieces of stick.
Thirdly; this is a method of destroying them by laying a large box down on its front side, with the lid supported open by a string over a pulley; and by trailing toasted cheese and a red-herring from their holes to this box, and placing oatmeal and other food in it, which they are for a few nights to be permitted to eat unmolested; and finally to watch them by moon-light, the inside of the box being painted white; and, when many of them are seen, to let down the lid; by which contrivance sixty of them are stated to have been taken at one time.
Snarleyyow, when he saw the lad go down on his knees, flew at him, and threw him on his back, growling over him, and occasionally looking at his master. "Come here, Snarleyyow," said Mr Vanslyperken. "Come here, sir, and lie down." But Snarleyyow had not forgotten the red-herring; so in revenge he first bit Smallbones in the thigh, and then obeyed his master. "Get up, sir," cried the lieutenant.
"He's a-eaten it all, by gum," said Smallbones, grinning, and walking away to the boat with the bread-bag over his shoulder. As soon as he had arrived on board, the lad communicated the fact to the crew of the Yungfrau, whose spirits were raised by the intelligence with the exception still of old Coble, who shook his head, and declared, "It was twopence and a red-herring thrown away."
When you lay a trap, much depends upon the bait; Smallbones knew his enemy's partiality for savoury comestibles. He then brought out his bag, set up his supporters, fixed it close to the hatch, and put the red-herring inside of it. With the string in one hand, he lifted up the hatch with the other.
"And as there isn't any use in my wasting the summer, Guy," he said, in conclusion, "I won't let this red-herring, trailed across my path, prevent me from going over at once, as I originally intended, to Dinant and Spa, and fulfilling the commission for those pictures of Dale and Norton's; You and Nevitt can see meanwhile what it's possible for us to do in the matter of hunting up this family mystery.
But whatever material plan were set before the Celt, some spiritual red-herring, some notion in his mind, was sure to sidetrack him before he had come half way to its accomplishment. He had enough of empire-building; and thirsted only after dreams. Brennus turned from a burnt Rome, his pride satisfied.
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