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Updated: May 21, 2025
Surtaine contemplated his old acquaintance with friendly interest. "The same old scrappy Elpy," he observed. "What's happened to you, since you used to itinerate with the Iroquois Extract of Life?" "Plenty." "You're looking pretty prosperous." "Have to, in my line." "What is it?" Mr. McQuiggan produced a card, with the legend:
"Tell him, yourself," retorted Ellis with entire good nature. "He isn't the sort to offer gratuitous information to." Upon this advice, L.P. McQuiggan reëntered. "All fixed," said he, with evident satisfaction. "We went to the mat on rates, but Shearson agreed to give me some good reading notices. Now, I'll beat it. See you to-night, Andy?" Dr. Surtaine nodded.
"I think we've heard enough from you, McQuiggan," warned Hal. "Do you!" The promoter sprang from his chair and all the latent venom of his temper fumed and stung in the words he poured out. "Well, take another think. I've got some things to tell you, young feller. Don't you come the high-and-holy on me. You and your smooth, big, phony stuffed-shirt of a father."
Sometimes I send my copy, so I only just got the message." "Miss Neal is 'Kitty the Cutie," explained McGuire Ellis. "Looks it, too," observed L.P. McQuiggan jauntily, addressing the upper far corner of the room. Miss Neal looked at him, met a knowing and conscious smile, looked right through the smile, and looked away again, all with the air of one who gazes out into nothingness.
McQuiggan?" "It's an adjacent property," growled the mining man. "What d'you know about copper?" "Oh, I've seen a little mining, myself. And a bit of mining advertising. That's quite an ad. of yours, McQuiggan." "I wrote that ad.," said Dr. Surtaine blandly: "and I challenge anybody to find a single misstatement in it." "You're safe. There isn't any. And scarcely a single statement.
Come around to the office, man, and let me show you." Still suspicious, Mr. McQuiggan permitted himself to be led away, expatiating as he went, upon the unrivaled location and glorious future of his mining property. From time to time, Dr. Surtaine jotted down an unostentatious note. The first view of the Certina building dashed Mr.
Ever know any folks there, George?" "Don't have no mem'ry for 'em, Doctah." "You're lucky again. They're the orneriest, lowest-down, minchin', pinchin', pizen trash that ever tainted the sweet air of Heaven by breathing it, George." "You don' sesso, Doctah Suhtaine, suh." "I do sess precisely so, George. Does the name McQuiggan mean anything to you?" "Don' mean nothin' at-tall to me, Doctah."
"The best you could say of the McQuiggans, George, was that one wasn't much cusseder than the others, because he couldn't be. Human nature has its limitations, George." "It suttinly have, suh." "But if you had to allow a shade to any of 'em, it would probably have gone to the oldest brother, L.P. McQuiggan.
"Don't you go raking up old muck with me, you rotten big poisoner!" roared McQuiggan: "or you'll get the hot end of it. How about that girl that went batty after taking Cert " "Wait a moment! Father! Please!" Hal broke in, aghast at this display. "We're not discussing the medical business. We're talking advertising. McQuiggan, yours is refused. We don't run that class of matter in the 'Clarion."
Why, Elpy, I've seen a man walk up to that picture on a bill-board as straight as you or me, take one good, long look, and go away hanging onto his kidneys, and squirming like a lizard. Fact! What do you think of that? Genius, I call it: just flat genius, to produce an effect like that with a few lines and a daub or two of color." "Some pull!" agreed Mr. McQuiggan, with professional approval.
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