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Updated: May 26, 2025
I've built up a little twelve millions, plus, on it. And I can sell your stock like hot cakes through the 'Clarion." "What's the 'Clarion'?" "My son's newspaper." "Thereby keeping the graft in the family, eh?" "Don't be a fool, Elpy. I'm showing you profits. Besides doing you a good turn, I'd like to bring in some new business to the boy.
With impressive agility for one of his size and years, the challenged one descended. He advanced, "squared," and suddenly held out a muscular and plump hand. "Hullo, Elpy." "Huh?" The other glared at him, baleful and baffled. "Hullo, I said. Don't you know me?" "No, I don't. Neither will your own family after I get through with you." "Come off, Elpy; come off.
"And then 'Try Certina, eh?" "For a starter and, for a finisher 'Certina Cures. Shoves the bottle right into their hands. The first bottle braces 'em. They take another. By the time they've had half a dozen, they love it." "Booze?" "Sure! Flavored and spiced up, nice and tasty. Great for the temperance trade. And the best little repeater on the market. Now take a look, Elpy."
Now you take half-pages every other day for a week and a full page Sunday " "D'you think I'm made of money?" "Elpy," said Dr. Surtaine, abruptly, "do you remember my platform patter?" "Like the multiplication table." "Was it good?" "Best ever!" "Well, I'm a slicker proposition with a pen than I ever was with a spiel. And you're securing my services for nothing.
Surtaine contemplated his old acquaintance with friendly interest. "The same old scrappy Elpy," he observed. "What's happened to you, since you used to itinerate with the Iroquois Extract of Life?" "Plenty." "You're looking pretty prosperous." "Have to, in my line." "What is it?" Mr. McQuiggan produced a card, with the legend:
McQuiggan was running over some proofs which he had brought with him, Dr. Surtaine walked into the office. There was about him a formidable smoothness, as of polished metal. He greeted his old friend with a nod and a cool "Back again, I see, Elpy." "And doing business at the old stand," rejoined his friend. "Worthington's the place where the dollars grow, all right." "Grow, and stay," said Dr.
Why, Elpy, I've seen a man walk up to that picture on a bill-board as straight as you or me, take one good, long look, and go away hanging onto his kidneys, and squirming like a lizard. Fact! What do you think of that? Genius, I call it: just flat genius, to produce an effect like that with a few lines and a daub or two of color." "Some pull!" agreed Mr. McQuiggan, with professional approval.
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