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Updated: May 5, 2025
"That's a sample I suppose, ain't it?" Abe said. "No," Kleebaum replied, "it's one of their stock machines, a Pfingst, nineteen-nine model." "Pfingst!" Abe exclaimed, "that's a new one on me.
But Morris cut off further comment by banging the door behind him and Abe turned to his task of preparing the sample line for his prospective customer's inspection. A half an hour later J. Edward Kleebaum entered the show-room and extended his hand to Abe. "Hallo, Potash," he said. "You got to excuse me I'm a little late on account I had to look at a machine up on Fiftieth Street."
"With me I bet yer if I would ride in an oitermobile once, y'understand, the least that would happen to me is I should break my neck." "How could you break your neck in a brand new car like that Pfingst car downstairs?" Kleebaum insisted. "Never mind," Abe answered, "if things is going to turn out that way, Mr. Kleebaum, you could break your neck in a baby carriage yet."
"Say, my friend," the demonstrating chauffeur cried as he caught sight of Kleebaum, "what d'ye think I'm running anyway? A taxicab?" "You shouldn't get fresh, young feller," Kleebaum retorted, "unless you would want to lose your job." "Aw, quit your stalling," the chauffeur protested. "Is this the guy you was telling me about?"
Sol Klinger says that out in Minneapolis Kleebaum hangs out with a bunch of loafers what considers a dollar a hundred chicken feed already." Abe rose to his feet. "Let me tell you something, Mawruss," he said. "I got over them old fashioned idees that a feller shouldn't spend the money he makes in the way what he wants to.
I met Sol Klinger and as him and me was buying papers near the subway station, comes a big oitermobile by the curb and Kleebaum is sitting with another feller in the front seat, what they call a chauffeur, and Kleebaum says, 'Get in and I'll take you down town, so we get in and I bet yer we come downtown in fifteen minutes." "Ain't Klinger scared to ride in one of them things, Mawruss?"
Kleebaum," Abe broke in hurriedly. "Now, you take this here garment, Mr. Kleebaum, people would say, 'How is it possible that Potash & Perlmutter could turn out a garment like this for eighteen dollars? And certainly, Mr. Kleebaum, I don't say we lose money on it, y'understand, only we got " "But this here car, Potash, has selective transmission, shaft drive and "
"I was in good company anyhow, Abe," Sol declared. "I was with J. Edward Kleebaum, but I suppose Mawruss Perlmutter told it you. Ain't it?" "Sure, he did," Abe said, "and he also told it me last week that you says J. Edward Kleebaum was a crook because he runs a couple of oitermobiles out in Minneapolis." "I made a mistake about Kleebaum, Abe," Klinger interrupted. "I changed my mind about him."
Abe and Morris cried with one voice. "Why, you wouldn't charge these gentlemen nothing," Kleebaum said with a violent wink. "They're friends of mine." "I know they was friends of yours," the chauffeur replied, "and that's why I made it ten dollars. Anyone else I'd say twenty." For almost half an hour Abe and Morris haggled with the chauffeur.
"That's all right, Sol," Abe said, "but if Kleebaum was a crook last week, Sol, and a gentleman this week, what I would like to know is, what he will be next week, because I got for twenty-one hundred dollars an order from that feller and I got to ship it next week. So if you got any information about Kleebaum, Sol, you would be doing me a favor if you would let me know all about it."
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