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Updated: July 26, 2025
And the way he lifts up his coat tails as he sits down. It's lovely, I do want to kiss him. Hella and I take turns to put our penholder on his desk so that he can hallow it with his hand as he writes. Afterwards in the arithmetic lesson when I write with it, I keep looking at Hella and she looks back at me and we both know what the other is thinking of. November 15th.
"This lady is Zerkwitz's mother, she complains that you talk about very improper things with her daughter; is it so?" "Hella and I never wanted to tell her anything; but she begged us to again and again, and besides we thought she really knew it anyhow and only pretended she didn't." "What did you think she knew, and what did you talk to her about?" broke in Anneliese's mother.
Hella is delighted with Gastein, she writes that the only thing wanting is me. I can quite understand that, for what I want here is her. Before the end of term Ada wrote to ask whether we were not coming to H. this year; she said she had such a frightful lot to tell me, and she wants my advice. I shall be very glad to advise her, but I don't know what it is about. July 18th.
After all it was all right as it was Jeno, but it would not have done with Lajos, for it would have been horrid because of Hella, or Ilonka as they call her here. Hella has just told me that they saw us kissing one another, and Lajos said: "Look Ilonka, they are setting us a good example." We are so awfully happy here.
The other day one of them was lying on the table, and when her mother was out Hella had a hurried look at it and read the title The Power of Woman!!! When her mother had finished it, she watched to see where it was put in the bookcase, and now we are reading it. It's simply wonderful! It keeps me awake all night; Signe whom he is so passionately fond of and who deceives him.
September 29th. Professor Fritsch, the German professor, came to-day for the first time. He is always clearing his throat and he wears gold spectacles. Hella thinks him tolerably nice, but I don't. I'm quite sure that I shall never get an Excellent in German again. Yesterday the new Religion master came for the first time, and I sat alone, for Hella being a Protestant did not attend.
Then he said that any one could take me in. I was so stupid that I would believe anything. I can't think what he meant, for he never took me in about anything. Anyhow I would not let him spoil new year's day for me. But Hella is quite right for if the first person one meets on January 1st is a common person that's a bad beginning.
Hella says that he used to run himself frantically into debt, because every six months he had an intimacy with some new woman; and all the presents he gave reduced him almost to beggary. Still, it's difficult to believe that, for however fond a woman may be of flowers and sweets, one does not quite see why that should reduce anyone to beggary.
"A little about Mad; but tell me all about it; I shan't tell anyone. For if I'd wanted to betray you, you know quite well. . . ." And then she told me all about Mad. But first I had to promise that I would not even tell Hella.
For a long time I did not know what to get for Aunt Dora, and at length we have decided upon a lace fichu; for she is awfully fond of lace. I am giving Hella a sketch book and a pencil case; she draws beautifully and will perhaps become an artist, for Dora I am getting a vanity bag and for Oswald a cigarette case with a horse's head on it, for he is frightfully taken up with racing and the turf.
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