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Updated: July 26, 2025
I am giving Hella an electric torch with a very powerful reflector, so that it really lights up the whole room, and an amber necklace. February 14th. It's a good thing that we have the half-term holiday to-day and to-morrow for that gives me time to write all about yesterday. It was simply phenomenal!
No one noticed anything. May 31st. They wanted me to go and stay with Hella for the month when Mother and Dora are away. It would be awfully nice, but I'm not going to, for I want to stay with Father. What would he do all alone at meal times, and whom would he have to talk to in the evenings?
Have you fallen in love without my knowing it, or is it at long last . . . .?" Then I said "Or is it at long last!" And she said: "Ah, then now we're equals once more," and there in the middle of the street she gave me a kiss. Just at that moment two students went by and one of them said: "Give me one too." And Hella said: "Yes, I'll give you one on the cheek which will burn."
And then, when we were talking it over she said to me that that was why Mother was ill and because she has had five children; Then I was very silly and said: "But how from that? one does not get children from that?" "Of course," she said, "I thought you knew that already. That time there was such a row with Mali about the waistband, I thought you and Hella had heard all about everything."
Hella had been given a piece of rose-coloured silk for a dress to wear at the dancing class which must have cost at least 50 crowns, and a lace collar and cuffs, which we had seen at the shop, and it had cost 24 crowns, then she had a gold ring with an emerald, and a number of smaller things which she never even looked at. And to see all the things her sister got, things for her trousseau!
Then he handed me a letter and said: "I don't think we need make any secret before your energetic friend." Really I did not want to forward any more letters but I did not know how to say so without offending him, for Dora's cheek is not his fault, and I did not want to say anything to-day, 1 because of the roses, and 2 because Hella was there.
Hella and I kept on looking at her and Hella cleared her throat three times and Frau Doktor said: Bruckner, do stop clearing your throat; it will only make your sore throat worse: But it seemed to me her eyes twinkled as she said it. So she hasn't forgotten. I wanted to speak to Sch., but Hella said: Wait a bit, we must give the Frau Doktor a chance. She's taken the matter in hand.
And I don't know exactly what there was on those pages. I was born to ill luck. If I hadn't promised Hella to write my diary every day I should like to give up the whole thing. Fancy if Mother were to get hold of it, or even Father. And it's raining so fearfully to-day that I can't even go into the garden and still less on the Louisenhohe above all not alone.
Her fiance often fetches her from the Lyz, I mean he waits for her in L. Street. Hella thinks an awful lot of him of course, because he's an officer. I don't think much of him myself, he's too short and too fat. He's only a very little taller than Frl. St. I think a husband should be nearly a head taller than his wife, or at least half a head taller, like our Father and Mother. October 29th.
Hella is really wonderful; and Franke too, though she's not particularly clever, can always make a smart answer. If only half of what Oswald says he says to the professors is true, then I can't understand why he is not expelled from every Gym. says Mother. Oswald says: If one only puts it in the right way no one can say anything. But that doesn't hold always. September 16th.
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