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"An' so she did consint, the darlin', but what the puck would she do else? God save the family! Paddy Donovan, how is your health? Molly, avourneen, I'm glad to hear that you're thrivin'. An' Peggy eh? Ah, be gorra, fadher, here's somethin' to look at! Give us the hand of you, you bloomer! Och, och! faith you're the daisey!" "Phelim," said the father, "will you behave yourself?
"In the first place, fadher, you're ungrammatical in one word; instead of sayin' 'prove, always say probate, or probe; the word is descended, that is, the ancisthor of it, is probo, a deep Greek word probo, probas, prob-ass, that is to say, I'm to probe Phadrick here to be an ass. Now, do you see how pat I brought that in? That's the way, Phadrick, I chastise my fadher with the languages."
"Sally, you insinivator, I'll hould a thousand guineas you'd never guess what brought me here to-day?" "Arrah, how could I, Phelim? To plan some thin' wid my fadher, maybe." "No, but to plan somethin' wid yourself, you coaxin' jewel you. Now tell me this Would you marry a certain gay, roguish, well-built young fellow, they call Bouncin' Phelim?"
"I sent word to the Donovans that we're to go to coort there to night," said Larry; "so that they'll be prepared for us; an' as it would be shabby not to have a friend, I asked Sam Appleton himself. He's to folly us." "I see," said Phelim, "I see. Well, the best boy in Europe Sam is, for such a spree. Now, Fadher, you must lie like the ould diouol tonight.
The degree of estimation in which these civilized English held Phil was so low, that this conversation took place within a few yards of him, precisely as if he had been an animal of an inferior species, or one of the aborigines of New Zealand. "Pray what is your name?" inquired the matron. "Phadhrumshagh Corfuffle, plase yer haner: my fadher carried the same name upon him.
"Fadher, if you were a grammarian, I'd castigate your incompatability as it desarves I'd lay the scourge o' syntax upon you, as no man ever got it since the invintion o' the nine parts of speech. By what rule of logic can you say that aither Barny Branagan's goats or Parra Ghastha's mare had a conscience? I tell you it wasn't they had the conscience, but the divine who decided the difficulty.
"No, slur; she was willin' enough to come; but her fadher wouldn't consint, and so we made off wit' ourselves." This was a topic on which the squire, for obvious reasons, did not like to press him. It was in fact a sore subject, and, accordingly, he changed it. "I suppose you have been about the country a good deal?" "I have, indeed, your haner."
"Fadher, I condimnate you at once I condimnate you as being a most ungrammatical ould man, an' not fit to argue wid any one that knows Murray's English Grammar, an' more espaciously the three concords of Lily's Latin one; that is the cognation between the nominative case and the verb, the consanguinity between the substantive and the adjective, and the blood-relationship that irritates between the relative and the antecedent."
Why, there's that ould cock, my fadher, an' if you'd see how he butthers up the ould woman to this day, it 'ud make your heart warm to any man o' the family." "Ould an' young was ever an' always the same to you, Phelim. Sure the ouldest woman in the parish, if she happened to be single, couldn't miss of your blarney. It's reported you're goin' to be marrid to an ould woman. "He -hem ahem!
'Tis an insult to the mimory av the boiled bacon an' greens I would be aiting this day at Carricknavore, to say nothin' av' the porther an' whisky that would be washing ut down. Lashin's and lavin's there 'ud be for ivery wan, an' what was over, me fadher God be good to the ould boy alive or dead! would be disthributin' amongst the poor forninst the dure " "Beg pardon, sir."
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