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Whin th' picnic got as far as Punch, on th' southern coast iv Porther Ricky, Gin'ral Miles gazes out, an' says he, 'This looks like a good place to hang th' hammicks, an' have lunch, says he. 'Forward, brave men, says he, 'where ye see me di'mon's sparkle, says he. 'Forward, an' plant th' crokay ar-rches iv our beloved counthry, he says.
It is much easier for him to make a fool of himself, to begin with, than it is for people of slower wits and more sluggish temperaments. When you add whiskey to that, or that essence of melancholia which in Ireland they call 'porther, you get the Kelt at his very weakest and worst. These young men down there are changing all that. They have discovered lager.
'Tis an insult to the mimory av the boiled bacon an' greens I would be aiting this day at Carricknavore, to say nothin' av' the porther an' whisky that would be washing ut down. Lashin's and lavin's there 'ud be for ivery wan, an' what was over, me fadher God be good to the ould boy alive or dead! would be disthributin' amongst the poor forninst the dure " "Beg pardon, sir."
Morrow, that, in presence of her own brother, Jemmy Connolly, the breeches-maker, and Billy M'Kinny, there, that I put my two five fingers acrass, and swore solemnly by them five crosses, that, except my mind changed, I'd never drink more nor one-half pint of spirits and three pints of porther in a day."
"The next day, about' one o'clock, he and she were after taking another small refreshment of roast-beef and porther, and pushing on, as before, when they heard the same tramping behind them, only it was ten times louder. "'Here they are again, says Jack; 'and I'm afeard they'll come up with us at last.
Will you give up your own will for wanst, and be guided by a wiser man? for health an' sure health's before everything for health, ever and always prefer draught porther." "Well, then, since it must be draught, I shall prefer draught ale." "Rank poison. Troth, somehow I feel a liking for you, an' for that very reason, devil a drop of draught ale I'll allow to cross your lips.
It's I that always does the sickness for the jury when we're kept in too long." "Why, then, Billy Bradley," asked one of them, "how could you, of all men living, sham sickness on a doctor?" "Because," said Billy, with a grin, "I'm beginning to feel a divarsion of blood to the head, for want of a beefsteak and a pot o' porther.
He has been in gr-reat purl fr'm a witherin' fire iv bokays, an' he has met an' overpowered some iv th' mos' savage orators in Porther Ricky; but, whin I las' heerd iv him, he had pitched his tents an' ice-cream freezers near the inimy's wall, an' was grajully silencin' thim with proclamations." "They'll kill him with kindness if he don't look out," said Mr. Hennessy.
He thried to larn a thrade an' found th' on'y place a naygur can larn a thrade is in prison an' he can't wurruk at that without committin' burglary. He started to take up subscriptions f'r a sthrugglin' church an' found th' profission was overcrowded. 'Fin'ly, says he, ''twas up to me to be a porther in a saloon or go into th' on'y business, he says, 'in which me race has a chanst, he says.
'Tis a good thing, but I want to keep it bottled up," he says. "Thin Jawn took th' thrain an' begun confidin' his secret to a few select frinds. He give it to th' conductor on th' thrain, an' th' porther, an' th' candy butcher; he handed it to a switchman that got on th' platform at South Bend, an' he stopped off at Detroit long enough to tell about it to the deepo' policeman.
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