Now, talk wid a female is an agreeable, if not a profitable, way av passin’ the toime, but sure ye niver know where it will ind—as witness Simpson. This lady I’m recallin’—’tis a matther av two years ago—followed the ancient and honorable profission av biscuit shootin’ not far from Caspar.
'I'm goin' to enther th' profission iv law, he says, 'where be me acooman an' industhry I hope, he says, 'f'r to rise to be a judge, he says, 'a congrissman, he says, 'a sinator, he says, 'an' p'rhaps, he says, 'a prisidint iv th' United States, he says. 'Theyse nawthin to prevint, he says.
"Shure, Ned, me boy," said Battersleigh, "ye've yer side arms on this evenin'. Ye give up the profission of arms with reluctance. Tell me, Ned, what's the campaign fer the evenin'?" "Well," said Franklin, "I thought I'd step over and sit awhile with Curly this evening. He may be feeling a little lonesome." "Quite right ye are, me boy," said Battersleigh cheerfully. "Quite right.
These remit and recur, and keep tune like the tides, not in ague and remittent fever only, as the Profission imagines to this day, but in all diseases from a Scirrhus in the Pylorus t' a toothache. And I discovered this, and the new path to cure of all diseases it opens. Alone I did it; and what my reward?
"But bein' a man of sceince, I feel for th' higher organisation. Mice are a part of Nature, as much as market-gardeners." "So be stoats, and adders, and doctors." Sampson appealed: "Jintlemen, here's a pretty pashint: reflects on our lairned profission, and it never cost him a guinea, for the dog never pays." "Don't let my chaff choke ye, doctor. That warn't meant for you altogether.
He thried to larn a thrade an' found th' on'y place a naygur can larn a thrade is in prison an' he can't wurruk at that without committin' burglary. He started to take up subscriptions f'r a sthrugglin' church an' found th' profission was overcrowded. 'Fin'ly, says he, ''twas up to me to be a porther in a saloon or go into th' on'y business, he says, 'in which me race has a chanst, he says.