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Updated: June 11, 2025
"Good land!" says I. "What a idee! to think that doin' right would make a man unpopular. But," says I, "I am glad to know they have got a reason, if it is a poor one. I didn't know but they sent you round jest to be mean." Wall, the next mornin' I told Bub to carry the errents right into the Senate.
But," sez I firmly, "I shall do Serepta's errents, and do 'em to the best of my ability, and you can't draw off my attention from her wrongs and sufferin's by talkin' about wads." "I would love to obleege Serepta," sez he, "because she belongs to such a lovely sect. Wimmen are the loveliest, most angelic creatures that ever walked the earth; they are perfect, flawless, like snow and roses."
Yes, my feelin's wuz such as I felt of the heft and importance of them errents not alone to Serepta Pester, but to the hull race of wimmen that it kep' my mental head rained up so high that I couldn't half see and enjoy the sight of the most beautiful city in the world, and still I spoze its grandeur and glory sort o' filtered down through my conscientiousness, as cloth grows white under the sun's rays onbeknown to it.
He sithed hard, and I never see a linement fall furder than hisen fell, and kep' a-fallin'. I pitied him, I see it wuz a hard stent for him to do it in the time she had sot, and he so fleshy too. But knowin' how much wuz at the stake, and how the fate of Serepta and wimmen wuz tremblin' in the balances, I spread them errents out before him.
He is considerable taller than I am; and on that account, and a good many others, I felt like lookin' up to him. Wall, when I have got a hard job in front of me, I don't know any better way than to tackle it to once. So consequently I tackled it. I told James, that Dorlesky Burpy had sent two errents by me, and I had brought 'em from Jonesville on my tower.
These things all took place more than a year ago and another man sets in the high chair, before which I laid Serepta's errents, a man not so hefty mebby weighed by common steelyards, but one of noble weight judged by mental and moral scales. I d'no whether I'd had any better luck if I'd presented Serepta's errents to him.
Sally hain't to blame. But with a noble scorn filling my eye, and floating out the strings of my head-dress, I moved off to bed. Wall, the next mornin' I sent Dorlesky's errents by Bub Smith to William Wallace, for I felt a good deal fagged out. Bub did 'em well, and I know it. But William Wallace sent him to Gen. Logan. And Gen.
But I am hitchin' the horse behind the wagon and to resoom backwards. The Reunion wuz put off a week and the Suffrage Meetin' wuz two days away, so I told Lorinda I didn't believe I would have a better time to carry Serepta Pester's errents to Washington, D.C. Josiah said he guessed he would stay and help wait on Hiram Cagwin, and I approved on't, for Lorinda wuz gittin' wore out.
But his linement which had looked so pleasant and cheerful growed gloomy and deprested as I spread them errents before him and sez in conclusion: "Serepta Pester sent these errents to you, she wanted intemperance done away with, the Whiskey Ring broke up and destroyed, she wanted you to have nothin' stronger than root beer when you had company to dinner, she offerin' to send you some burdock and dandeline roots and some emptins to start it with, and she wanted her rights, and wanted 'em all by week after next without fail."
Bayard sent him to somebody else, and somebody else sent him to another one. And so it went on; and Bub Smith traipsed round, a carryin' them errents, from one man to another, till he was most dead. Why, he carried them errents round all day, walkin' afoot. Bub said most every one of 'em said the errents wuz just and right, but they couldn't do 'em, and wouldn't tell their reasons.
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