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Updated: June 11, 2025
"No!" sez I firmly, "when I want to foller Cleopatra's fashion and commit suicide, I will hire a rattlesnake and take my pizen as she did, on the outside." Well, I got back to Hiram Cagwin's tired as a dog, and Serepta's errents ondone. But my conscience opholded me and told me I had done my very best, and man or woman can do no more.
And right while I wuz cryin' onto that gingham apron, she made me promise to carry them two errents of hern to the President and git 'em done for her if I possibly could. She wanted the Whiskey Ring destroyed and her rights, and she wanted 'em both inside of two weeks.
I leaned my umberell in a easy, careless position against a adjacent chair, adjusted my green veil in long, graceful folds, I hain't vain, but I like to look well, and then I at once told him of my errents. I told him "I had brought three errents to him from Jonesville, one for myself, and two for Dorlesky Burpy." He bowed, but didn't say nothin': he looked tired.
Silence rained for some time; and finally I spoke out solemnly through the rain: "Will you do Serepta's errents? Will you give her her rights? And will you break the Whiskey Ring?" He said he would love to do the errents, I had convinced him that it would be just and right to do 'em, but the Constitution of the United States stood up firm aginst 'em.
"She sez you had 'em in your power once and could made a sample on 'em but didn't, and so, sez she, I've got to live on codfish, and the flour trust is bringin' up flour so Id'no but I'll have to eat saw-dust bread. You remember them powerful metafors in the Auger. I wanted to explain all this and I also had some errents of my own."
And you jest said I had convinced you that Dorlesky's errents wus errents of truth and justice, and you would love to do 'em." "Well, yes, yes I would love to as it were But really, my dear madam, much as I would like to oblige you, I have not the time to devote to it.
A few calm errents of borryin' tea and spice, now and then a tin peddler and a agent, or a neighborhood tea drinkin', wuz all that interrupted our days serene. Silent days, quiet days, in a broad stripe, not glistenin' or shiny, but considerable good-lookin' after all.
And when she told 'em over to me, and I meditated on her reasons for sendin' 'em and her need of havin' 'em done, I felt that I would do the errents for her if a breath wuz left in my body. She come for a all day's visit; and though she is a vegetable widow and humbly, I wuz middlin' glad to see her.
Blaine spoke it, my umberell fell, and the gentleman sprung forward to pick it up; and then he shook hands with me: and Mr. Blaine said good-bye to me, and started off. I felt willin' and glad to have this senator do Dorlesky's errents, but I didn't like his looks from the very first minute I sot my eyes on him.
And then Josiah made so light of them errents I felt that he would be a drawback instead of a help, for how could I keep a calm and noble frame of mind befittin' them lofty errents, and how could I carry 'em stiddy with a pardner by my side pokin' fun at 'em, and at me for carryin' 'em, jarrin' my sperit with his scorfin' and onbelievin' talk?
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