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Updated: May 3, 2025
Why if you don't look out we'll have you going around taking up a subscription to fit Brother Lu out with a brand new suit of togs; and perhaps buying the poor chap a bully meerschaum pipe; for it must be dreadful that he is now compelled to use one of Mr. Hosmer's old corncob affairs."
Here on a rude bench constructed from a discarded four-poster he would often sit for hours, smoking his corncob pipe and softly humming to himself; but when genius went awry and his courage was at a low ebb, strings, wires, and pulleys having failed to work, he would neither smoke nor sing, but with eyes on the distance would sit immovable as if carved from stone.
"Yer mammy'll allers love ye, little 'un, allers, allers, no matter what yer pappy does!" She whispered this under her breath; then, dragging the red shawl about her shoulders, appeared in the living-room with the child hidden from view. "An' I'll tell ye somethin' else, too," burst in Lem, pulling out a corncob pipe: "that it ain't none of yer business if I steal or if I don't.
"Hear what, mother?" "Music ... that beautiful music!" "Do you see anything, mother?" "Yes ... heaven!" Then the fine old pioneer soul passed on. I'll bet she still clings grimly to an astral corncob pipe somewhere in space. A week before she died, Aunt Millie told us she was sure the end was near.
"Indians don't have dolls!" declared Danny. "Indian girls do!" exclaimed Nellie. "I saw a picture in one of my books of an Indian girl, and she had a doll made of corn silk and a corncob and some tree bark." "What a funny doll!" exclaimed Grace. "Do try and bring one home, Nan!" "I will," she promised.
They bought a little bale of fragrant Kinnikinnick tobacco from the sutler, made a sufficiency of corncob pipes, swept off the ground in front of their house, which, as there had been no rain for several days, was in good condition, with brooms of brush, that it might serve for a dancing-floor, gathered in a stock of pitch-pine knots for their fire, spoke to Bunty Jim to bring his fiddle along, and to Uncle Sassafras, the Colonel's cook, to come down with his banjo, and their preparations were completed.
"The whackin' white cheroot" that the girl smoked in Kipling's "Road to Mandalay" is also much in evidence here; or perhaps instead of the white cheroot it is an enormous black cigar. In either case it is as large as a medium-sized corncob, that the newly landed tourist is moved to stare thereat in open-eyed amazement. How do Kipling's verses go?
"How are men made?" sez I dryly, as dry as ever a corncob wuz, after many years. "Oh, men are made so's they try to answer wimmen some they have to; they have to keep their hand in so's to not lose their speech on that very account. I presume Columbus knew all about such things. He had two wives; he knew what trouble wuz."
"Old Adam there is a born fire eater, too, but he knows how to set back when thar's trouble brewin'." "I ain't never set back mo' than was respectable in a man of ninety," croaked old Adam indignantly, while he prodded the ashes in his corncob pipe with his stubby forefinger. "'Tis my j'ints, not my sperits that have grown feeble."
"Nonsense, it'll do him good, my sweet little Johnnie," she assured her daughter, knocking her corncob pipe over the coal scuttle like a man. There was a story of Granma Wandon's that cut deep into my memory.
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