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Updated: June 22, 2025
"Well, if so, 'tis on the faith of such mummery that priests burn women in merry England. Come, good people, come," he roared in his great voice, "come, see Satan in the flesh. Here are his horns," and he held them up, "once they grew upon the head of Widow Johnson's billy-goat. Here's his tail, many a fly has it flicked off the belly of an Abbey cow.
Frank," said Mustapha, "the pacha has sent for you that he may hear an account of all the wonderful things which you have seen. You must tell lies, and you will have gold." "Tell lies! that is, spin a yarn; well, I can do that, but my mouth's baked with thirst, and without a drop of something, the devil a yarn from me; and so you may tell the old Billy-goat, perched up there."
He was chucked into an empty cow-house, and the door was shut behind him. There he stood and had nothing to look at but an old billy-goat through a crack in the door, who had odd, yellow eyes, and was very much like the old fellow, and a sunbeam through a little hole, which sunbeam crept higher and higher up the blank stable wall till late in the evening, when it went out altogether.
A real one, in which the hero of Billy-goat Hill held his own against two opponents. The tumblers and the whisky bottles went first, the liquor dripping from the table to floor; then a chair was overturned, and a window- pane shattered to the ground below.
The procession was headed by an old billy-goat, who looked supremely philosophical as he went slowly along the rough gangway. "It minds one o' pirates makin' the crew of a merchantman walk the plank," remarked John Williams, as he assisted to urge the unwilling flock along. "Quite like a menadgeree," suggested Mills.
"But I could buy a waggon-load of 'em for one day's pay, an' not have any tuggin' and scratchin' with 'em. Melons ain't too stinkin', but lor', tomatoes is a stunner! They rotted till you couldn't stand the smell of them, and it would give a billy-goat the pip to hear them mentioned. There was no sale, and the blow-flies took to 'em. One man down here had thirty acres.
The son was a mere donkey; a silly, simpering, well-dressed young gentleman, the owner of no more than the eighth of an idea, and of a very fine set of teeth, which he constantly exhibited like a sign or advertisement of his shop. Appended to everything he uttered were a preface and postscript, in the form of a sort of Billy-goat grin. "He! he! he! he!
Sometimes somebody has to be high-handed, and even if that billy-goat of a husband pretends to resent what I did his wife isn't resenting it, and she is the one that counts. I always agree with her that it was such a strange thing I happened to be there the day the note came. And also she thinks it strange I decided so quickly to take her to the hospital, when she had just said she couldn't go.
"If that's what you're counting on," retorted Cotton, "you may as well forget it. You've got no group any more." "Oh! You've got rid of them?" "We've got rid of the ring-leaders." "Of whom?" "That old billy-goat, Sikoria, for one." "You've shipped him?" "We have." "I saw the beginning of that. Where have you sent him?" "That," smiled the marshal, "is a job for your secret-service department!"
"Well," quoth Jack the Dullard, "if I can't have a horse, I'll take the billy-goat, who belongs to me, and he can carry me very well!" And so said, so done. He mounted the billy-goat, pressed his heels into its sides, and gallopped down the high street like a hurricane. "Hei, houp! that was a ride! Here I come!" shouted Jack the Dullard, and he sang till his voice echoed far and wide.
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