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Updated: May 25, 2025
Captain Bailey stopped short and sprang from his chair. "There's my train comin'," he shouted. "Good-by, Sol! So long, Barzilla! Keep away from fortune tellers and pretty servant girls or YOU'LL be gettin' married pretty soon. Good-by." He darted out of the waiting room and his companions followed. Mr.
I swan there was looking glasses in every corner big ones, man's size. I remember Cap'n Jonadab hollering to me that night when he was getting ready to turn in: "For the land's sake, Barzilla!" says he, "turn out them lights, will you? I ain't over'n' above bashful, but them looking glasses make me feel's if I was undressing along with all hands and the cook."
Barzilla Wingate, he says the same about his crowd. He's comin' on the mornin' train from Wellmouth." "You don't tell me. I ain't seen Barzilla for a long spell. Where you stoppin'? Come up to the house, won't you?" "Can't. I'm goin' to put up over to Obed Gott's. His sister, Polena Ginn, is a relation of mine by marriage. So long! Obed's gone on ahead to tell Polena to put the kettle on.
"Well," he says, "Barzilla, the way I feel now, I think I'd take a return ticket to Orham and be afraid of being took up for swindling at that." Neither of us says nothing more for a spell, and, first thing you know, we heard a carriage rattling somewhere up the road. I was shipwrecked once and spent two days in a boat looking for a sail.
And, for a poet, he done pretty well, so the Cap'n said. "'But say, Barzilla, asks Jonadab, 'does that Willie thing know the Robinsons? "'Guess not, I says. But, thinkin' of the way he'd acted when the girl come to the door: 'Why? "'Oh, nothin' much. Only when he come in with the doughnuts the fust mornin' at breakfast, I thought Grace sort of jumped and looked funny.
"Look here!" broke in Captain Bailey Stitt, righteous indignation in his tone, "I've started no less than nineteen different times to tell you about how I went sailin' in an automobile. Now do you want to hear it, or don't you?" "How you went SAILIN' in an auto?" repeated Barzilla. "Went ridin', you mean." "I mean sailin'. I went ridin', too, but "
"Barzilla and me's got a couple of letters," says Cap'n Jonadab; "and we was wondering who they was from." Tucker leaned away down he's always suffering from a rush of funniness to the face and he whispers, awful solemn: "For heaven's sake, whatever you do, don't open 'em. You might find out." Then he threw off his main-hatch and "haw-hawed" like a loon.
"'Barzilla! he growled, between his teeth, 'you set where you be and keep off the quarterdeck. I'm runnin' this craft. I'll beat that Loveland this time or run him under, one or t'other! "As sure as I'm alive this minute, the man in the front car was Tobias Loveland! "And from then on Don't talk! I dream about it nights and wake up with my arms around the bedpost.
"Jonadab's too busy to write these days. Bein' a sport interferes with letter writing consider'ble." "Sport!" exclaimed Captain Bailey. "Land of Goshen! Cap'n Jonadab is the last one I'd call a sport." "That's 'cause you ain't a good judge of human nature, Bailey," chuckled Barzilla. "When ancient plants like Jonadab Wixon DO bloom, they're gay old blossoms, I tell you!"
What about this Effie, Barzilla?" "Now look here!" protested Stitt. "Shut up, Bailey! Who was Effie, Barzilla?" "She was third assistant roustabout and table girl at the Old Home House," said Wingate triumphantly. "Got another cigar, Sol? Thanks. Yes, this Effie had never worked out afore and she was greener'n a mess of spinach; but she was kind of pretty to look at and "
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