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Updated: June 8, 2025
No one but an artist would inflict on another human being such intolerable boredom." "But it's your idea, bless you, which I'm carrying out, with all the gratitude in the world." "If you want to reap the tortures of the damned," retorted Bakkus, "just you be a benefactor." Andrew shrugged his shoulders.
What's the meaning of this " he waved a hand "this reversion to type?" "You behold Petit Patou redivivus," said Andrew. Bakkus regarded him in astonishment. "But, my dear fellow, Generals can't do things like that." "That's the cry of Elodie." "She's a woman with whom I'm in perfect sympathy," said Bakkus. Elodie entered, cooler, less dishevelled, in her eternal wrapper.
She conveyed, very charmingly, her welcome to me as a friend of Andrew's. "Horace that's my friend Bakkus I've told you about," said Lackaday. "He'll be here to-morrow. I should so much like you to meet him." "I'm looking forward," said I, "to the opportunity." We talked on indifferent subjects; and in the meanwhile I observed Lackaday closely. He seemed tired and careworn.
He had never intrigued like most of his craft for press advertisement. Over and over again had Bakkus said: "Raise a thousand or two and give it to me or Moignon to play with and we'll boom you into all the capitals of the earth. There's a fortune in you." But Andrew, to whom publicity was the essence of his calling, would have none of it.
Once, a week after their arrival, did he, by some magnetic power, drag the protesting Bakkus from his bed and march him down, from the modest lodgings in a by-street, to the sea front and the bathing-machines. Magnetic force may bring a man to the water, but it can't make him go in.
But knowing the man, knowing also Lady Auriol and having in the meantime made the acquaintance of Mademoiselle Elodie Figasso and Horatio Bakkus, playing, in fact, a minor role, say, that of Charles, his friend, in the little drama of his life, I eventually decided to carry out my good friend's wishes.
We talked and talked; came back to the startling event. We had to believe it, because it was incredible, as Tertullian cheerily remarked of ecclesiastical dogma. But short of the Archbishop of Canterbury eloping with the Statue of Liberty in New York Harbour nothing could seem less possible. If Bakkus had nurtured nefarious designs, Good Heavens! he could have executed them years before.
"That doesn't matter a bit to me," said Andrew. "You've got to carry out your contract." Bakkus sighed. "Need I? What's a contract? I say I am willing to perform vocal and other antics for so many shillings a week. When I come to think of it, my soul revolts at the sale of itself for so many shillings a week to perform actions utterly at variance with its aspirations.
Elodie, on beholding him, clutched a bursting corsage with both hands, uttered a little squeak and bolted like an overfed rabbit. Bakkus laughed out loud. "What the devil ? Is this the relaxation of the great or the aberrations of the asylum?" Andrew grinned and shook hands. "My dear old chap. I'm so glad you've come back. Sit down."
Bakkus smiled sardonically as he sipped his liqueur brandy. She had given her bird performance on only two occasions. She had exaggerated it into the gracious habit of months or years. Just like a woman! Anyhow, the disillusionment of Andrew was none of his business. The dear old chap was eating lotus in his Fool's Paradise, thinking it genuine pre-war lotus and not war ersatz.
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