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Updated: June 19, 2025
As soon as they were fairly welded, off they sot to take the tour of Europe, and they larfed and cried, and kissed and quarrelled, and fit and made up all over the Continent, for her temper was as onsartain as the climate here rain one minit and sun the next; but more rain nor sun. "He was a fool, was Cranbery. He didn't know how to manage her. His bridle hand warn't good, I tell you.
They liked the real dictionary po'try, like 'The boy stood on the burnin' deck' and 'A life on the ocean wave, but they made fun of me, and when the boys got a hold of my poortiest varses, and said 'em over and over as they was comin' from school, and larfed at me, and the gals kinder fooled me, gittin' me to do some varses fer ther birthdays, and then makin' fun of 'em, I couldn' bar it no ways, and so I jist cleaned out and left to git shed of their talk.
Dat story do smell rader tall, dat are a fac; yah, yah, yah, and I fell down and rolled ober and ober on de grass, and it's lucky I did, for as I dodged he fetched a back-handed blow at me wid his huntin' whip, that would a cut my head off if it had tooked me round my neck. "My missus larfed right out like any ting, tho' it was so hot, and when missus larf I always know she is good-natured.
Well, the officer couldn't get up for the hoss, and he couldn't keep his face out of the water for the hoss, and he couldn't drink for the hoss, and he was almost choked to death, and as black in the face as your hat. And the Prince and the officers larfed so, they couldn't help him, if they was to die for it.
"'Why, sais he, 'look there, Sare. And then they larfed agin, ready to split; and sore enough, no sooner had the Leftenant layed down to drink, than the Prince's hoss kneeled down, and put his head jist over his neck, and began to drink too.
Aunt larfed waal, an' told me tew try ag'in; so a couple er nights arfter, I spruced up, an' went over to Car'line Miles's; she was as smart as old cheese, an' waal off in tew the barg'in. I was just as sure she'd hev me, as I be that I'm gittin' the rewmatiz a settin' in this ma'sh.
Well, says I, I know folks are plaguilly consarned about it, but what do you call "folks smashin their consarns?" Father he larfed out like any thing; I thought he never would stop and sister Sall got right up and walked out of the room, as mad as a hatter. Says she, Sam, I do believe you are a born fool, I vow. When father had done larfin, says he, I'll tell you, Sam, how it was.
It's a poor business arter all, is electioneering, and when 'the Dancin' Master is abroad, he's as apt to teach a man to cut capers and get larfed at as anything else. It ain't every one that's soople enough to dance real complete.
My back be very sore, No stand it any more, Oh Lord Missus oh Lord Missus. And all the rest of you join chorus, as loud as you can bawl, 'Oh Lord Missus. The black rascals understood the joke real well. They larfed ready to split their sides; they fairly lay down on the ground, and rolled over and over with lafter.
"'Why, sais he, 'look there, Sare. And then they larfed agin, ready to split; and sore enough, no sooner had the Leftenant layed down to drink, than the Prince's hoss kneeled down, and put his head jist over his neck, and began to drink too.
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