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"Waal, to own the truth, he laugh'd at it, like all natur'. I don't believe they put any great weight on a syllable the major told 'em. I never see critturs with such onbelievin' faces! After talking as long as suited themselves, they ordered the major to be shut up in a buttery, with a warrior at the door for a sentinel; a'ter which they took to examining me."
To spend my selfe to nothing and be laugh'd at By all the world when I shall come at last To this reward for all my services, To bee your lay Court Chaplaine and say gravely A hastie grace before your windowes breakfast. Sis. But how Came you thus cur'd? What phisick tooke you that hath thus restor'd you? Cou. A little sack had power to cure this madnes. Sis.
Once at Jerusalem, where the pilgrims kneel'd, I strewèd powder on the marble stones, And therewithal their knees would rankle so, That I have laugh'd a-good to see the cripples Go limping home to Christendom on stilts." "Why, this is something."
Goldsmith is supposed to have had him and his school in view in the following sketch in his Deserted Village: "Beside yon straggling fence that skirts the way, With blossom'd furze unprofitably gay, There, in his noisy mansion, skill'd to rule, The village master taught his little school; A man severe he was, and stern to view, I knew him well, and every truant knew: Well had the boding tremblers learned to trace The day's disasters in his morning face; Full well they laugh'd with counterfeited glee At all his jokes, for many a joke had he; Full well the busy whisper circling round, Convey'd the dismal tidings when he frown'd: Yet he was kind, or, if severe in aught, The love he bore to learning was in fault; The village all declared how much he knew, 'Twas certain he could write and cipher too; Lands he could measure, terms and tides presage, And e'en the story ran that he could gauge: In arguing, too, the parson own'd his skill, For, e'en though vanquished, he could argue still; While words of learned length and thund'ring sound Amazed the gazing rustics ranged around And still they gazed, and still the wonder grew, That one small head could carry all he knew."
He laugh'd outright this time; and resting with his legs cross'd, against the trunk of an elm, twirl'd an end of his long lovelocks, and looked at me comically. Said he: "Tell me, Jack, is there aught in me that offends thee?" "Why, no," I answered. "I think you're a very proper young man such as I should loathe to see spoil'd by Master Settle's knife."
My fair Readers are already deeper Scholars than the Beaus. This cannot but have a good Effect upon the Female World, and keep them from being charmed by those empty Coxcombs that have hitherto been admired among the Women, tho' laugh'd at among the Men.
Besides, it is as vulgar as Rats-bane, or the slicing of the Weasand. No, I'll die a Death uncommon, and leave behind me an eternal Fame. I have somewhere read an Author, either antient or modern, of a Man that laugh'd to death. I am very ticklish, and am resolv'd to die that Death. And now, farewel the World, fond Love, and mortal Cares. Enter Scaramouch. Scar. Ha, what's here? Har.
"The joy that flash'd out from thy death-shrouded eyes, That laugh'd in thy dimples, and brighten'd thy cheek, Is quench'd but the smile on thy pale lip that lies, Now tells of a joy that no language can speak. The fountain is seal'd, the young spirit at rest, Oh, why should I mourn thee, my lov'd one my blest!"
At first she laugh'd, but gaz'd the while, And soon it lessen'd to a Smile; Thence to surprize and wonder came, Her Breast to heave, her Heart to flame; Then cry'd she out, Ah, now I prove Thou art a God, Almighty Love. She wou'd have spoke, but Shame deny'd, And bad her first consult her Pride; But soon she found that Aid was gone, For Love, alas, had left her none.
You'd a laugh'd fit to split your sides I guess, to see the stupid stare of the devils, as startin' out of their sleep, they saw a pistol within three inches of each of'em. 'Ugh, says they, as if they did'nt know well whether to take it as a joke or not.
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