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Updated: May 15, 2025
"Two's no' many," said Tam calmly, "but A've na doot A'll enjoy them wi' ma educated palate better than you, sir-r seegairs are for men an' no' for bairns, an' ye'd save yersel' an awfu' feelin' o' seekness if ye gave me a'." Tam lived with the men he had the rank of sergeant, but he was as much Tam to the private mechanic as he was to the officers. His pay was good and sufficient.
"It's no' Mister MacMuller?" asked Tam eagerly. "Oh you've heard of Captain Müller?" asked the prisoner interestedly. "Haird? good Lord, mon sir-r, A' mean look here!" He put his hand in his pocket and produced a worn leather case. From this he extracted two or three newspaper cuttings and selected one, headed "German Official."
He looked round sleepily at the group about him and asked in the voice of a very tired man: "Which of you fellows bombed our Kaiser?" Tam leant forward, his face blazing with excitement. "Say that again, sir-r," he said. Von Rheinhoff looked at him through half-opened eyes. "Tam eh?" he whispered. "You nearly put an empire in mourning." Tam drew a long breath, then turned away.
The navigator, whose rightful surname had been converted by the facetious Naval Reserves into "Cutlets," for reasons of their own, lost no time in rebuking the too enthusiastic lookout. "Aloft, there, you measly lubber! What in thunder do you mean? Have you sighted land?" "Ye-es, sir-r," quavered the lookout.
"Sir-r," said Tam, "I wad know her anywheer. Yon's Mr. Craig's 'bus, right enough." Blackie turned quickly and ran to his office. He spun the handle of the telephone and gave a number. "That you, Calais? There's a Boche flying one of our machines gone in your direction yes, one that came down in his lines last week. A Fairlight battle-plane. She's flying at sixteen thousand feet. Warn Dover."
To gain the good graces of the bartender he invited all in the place to drink, to which invitation all readily responded save Mr. Duffy. The drummer went to him, and slapping him on the shoulder, said: "I say, old man, what are you going to have?" "I thank you, sir-r, but I niver dhrink," was Duffy's quiet reply. "What, you never drink?" said the drummer with a sarcastic laugh.
Every fiber in ma body, includin' ma suspenders, is tense wi' rage an' horror." "A cigar, Tam?" "No, thank ye, sir-r," said Tam, waving aside the proffered case and extracting two cigars in one motion. "Well, perhaps A'd better. A've run oot o' seegairs, an' the thoosand A' ordered frae ma Glasgae factor hae been sunk by enemy action this is no' a bad seegair, Captain Blackie, sir-r.
Tam descended from the fuselage very solemnly, affecting not to notice the waiting audience, and with a little salute, which was half a friendly nod, he would have made his way to squadron headquarters had not Blackie hailed him. "Come on, Tam," he smiled. "Why this modesty?" "Sir-r?" said Tam with well-simulated surprise. "Let us hear about the gun."
"Ay, ay, comin' sir-r," floated back on the night wind; and, shortly afterwards, the Irishman stumbled into camp with his hands, his face, and his clothes plentifully bedaubed with mud. "Why, what have you been about?" inquired Ned. "Diggin' for goold, sure.
So the report was made to Headquarters and Headquarters sent forward a long account of air flights for publication in the day's communique, adding, "One of our machines did not return." "But, A' doot if he's killit," said Tam; "he flattened oot before he reached airth an' flew aroond a bit. Wi' ye no ask Mr. Lasky, sir-r, he's just in?" Mr.
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