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Updated: May 21, 2025
"Splendid! I am delighted. With John Drew, I hope." "Nothing like that," she said loftily. Then her wide mouth spread into a good-natured grin, revealing the even rows of teeth that were her particular charm. "I am going out with the great Lyndon Rushcroft." "Good! As one of the proprietors, I am glad to see you on our er programme, Miss Thackeray." "Programme is good," she mused.
Rushcroft, the star Lyndon Rushcroft, you know, myself and Bacon, Tommy Gray, Miss Rushcroft, Miss Hughes and a woman named Bradley, seven of us. Miss Hughes happened to know a chap who was travelling around the country for his health, always meeting up with us, accidentally, of course, and he staked her to a ticket to New York.
"I'll do it with the greatest pleasure," he declared. The next afternoon in the town of Bittler the Countess Mara-Dafanda, daughter of royalty, and Thomas Kingsbury Barnes "stood up" with the happy couple during a lull in the hastily called rehearsal on the stage of Fisher's Imperial Theatre, and Lyndon Rushcroft gave the bride away.
Barnes, you ought to know that you may be a long time in getting your money back," said his daughter levelly. "We are poor pay." "My dear child," began Mr. Rushcroft, amazed. "I shall permit your father himself to specify the number of months or years to be written in the body of the note," said Barnes. "And if he never pays, what then?" said she.
In God's name, I implore you not to refer to anything so disgusting as stewed prunes and bacon at a time like this. My mind is " "How about luncheon? Will you join me at twelve-thirty?" "That's quite another matter," said Mr. Rushcroft readily. "Luncheon is an aesthetic tribute to the physical intelligence of man, if you know what I mean. I shall be delighted to join you.
Twelve-thirty, did you say?" "It would give me great pleasure if your daughter would also grace the festal board." "Ahem! My daughter and I are er what you might say 'on the outs' at present. I dare say I was a trifle crusty with her this morning. She was a bit inconsiderate, too, I may add. As a matter of fact she told me to go and soak my head." Mr. Rushcroft actually blushed as he said it.
"I I'm sure I I don't know," stammered Miss Tilly, wetting her dry lips with her tongue in an attempt to be lucid. "What?" exploded Mr. Rushcroft, somewhat taken aback by the retort from an unexpected quarter. "Upon my soul, I I What?" "He won't bite, Miss Tilly," said Miss Thackeray soothingly. "Oh, dear!" said Miss Tilly, putting her hand over her mouth.
Half an hour later Barnes succeeded in striking a bargain with Putnam Jones. He got the two rooms at the end of the hall at half price, insisting that it was customary for every hotel to give actors a substantial reduction in rates. "You shall be treasurer and business-manager in my reorganized company," said Rushcroft.
"Abominations!" snorted Rushcroft. "I fired both of them this morning. They are no longer connected with my company. I won't have 'em around. What's more, they can't act and never will. The best bit of acting that Bacon ever did in his life was when he told me to go to hell a little while ago.
Rushcroft, partially mollified. "I took the liberty, old fellow," he went on, addressing Barnes, "of asking my excellent co-workers to join us in our repast. In all my career I have not known more capable, intelligent players than these " "Delighted to have you with us, gentlemen," said Barnes affably. "In fact, I was going to ask Mr. Rushcroft if he had the slightest objection to including you "
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