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Updated: May 26, 2025
He goes for it right and left, so bitterly and yet so quaintly, that I thought it worth while preserving, old-fashioned spelling and all. Here's the way it goes: "'As concerning footballe, I protest unto you it may rather be called a friendlie kind of a fight than a play or recreation, a bloody and murthering practice than a felowy sort of pastime.
In their embrace his elbows were instantly pinned tight to his side, and he stood for a moment helpless and astounded, while the voice of the sea-captain, rumbling in his very ear, exclaimed: "Ye bloody, murthering Quaker, I'll have that ivory ball, or I'll have your life!" These words produced the same effect upon Jonathan as though a douche of cold water had suddenly been flung over him.
"Faith, it's easily seen you never saw my letter, or you wouldn't be saying that. And sure, it's not much trouble it would give Colonel Fitzroy or any o' the staff that write a good hand just to put in a line to Mrs. M'Gra, to prevent her feeling alarmed about that murthering paper. Well, well; it's God's blessing!
But we'll be aven wid them yet. They say next spring a big French army is coming, and they will set the Germans running so that they won't stop till the last man gets on board ship, and ould Ireland is free from them, the murthering haythens. But you must be careful, lads, and not let out to a sowl that ye have been wid the boys in the west, or it's short work they would make of you."
Then a big bell rang out, not like a decent Christianable bell, but a great clash, then another, and a lot of strokes enough to take away one's breath. Then half the windows were lighted up, and we heard shots, and screeches, and splashes, till, as I said to Jack Smithers, 'twas as if one half the place was murthering the other.
And very many, almost the universality of the land, were involved in the snare of the oath of abjuration, renouncing the principle of declaring war against a malignant King, and of asserting the lawfulness of bringing his murthering accomplices and incendiaries to condign punishment; but, on the other hand, some of the suffering party did sometimes exceed the bounds of moderation in this matter, in usurping the sword without God's call, without respect to the rule, and against the scope of their own declarations, to take vengeance on them at their own hand; yea, even to that degree, of taking the lives of some of them in an extravagant manner; for which, they were sadly rebuked of God, an occasion was given and taken to reproach and blaspheme the way of God upon that account.
Two minutes before the monotony of existence is broken by a fight there will not be a soul to be seen, but no sooner is it discovered that some unlucky wight is in present receipt of a "big bating" than hundreds appear on the spot, and struggle for a "vacancy," like the lame piper who howled for the same at the "murthering" of a bailiff.
"But, Joe, s'pose now Mr. Thady agreed to join you here, what'd you have him be doing at all?" "I'd have him lend a hand to punish the murthering ruffian as have got half the counthry dhruv into gaols, and as is playing his tricks now with his own sisther." "But what could any of you do? You wouldn't dare knock the chap on the head?" "Who wouldn't dare? by the 'tarnal, I'd dare it myself!
Not a moment is to be lost on your landing in England." "Mike!" cried I, "how look the cattle for a journey?" "The chestnut is a little low in flesh, but in great wind, your honor; and the black horse is jumping like a filly." "And Badger?" said I. "Howld him, if you can, that's all; but it's murthering work this, carrying despatches day after day."
When we saw what had been done, two or three of us attimpted to seize Dirk and disarm him; but the murthering villain fought like all the furies, layin' my cheek open, stabbin' poor Tom in the throat so that he's bleedin' like a stuck pig, and pretty near cuttin' Mike's hand off. And that's not the worst of it aither.
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