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Updated: June 8, 2025
But, after breakfast, the longing to see Megan began and increased with every minute, together with fear lest something should have been said to her which had spoiled everything. Sinister that she had not appeared, not given him even a glimpse of her!
All that evening this thought kept coming back; but, as is not unusual, each time with less poignancy, till it seemed almost a matter of course to be a scoundrel. And strange! he did not know whether he was a scoundrel if he meant to go back to Megan, or if he did not mean to go back to her. They played cards till the children were sent off to bed; then Stella went to the piano.
He went down to the beach. Alone there with the serene, the blue, the sunlit sea, his heart relaxed a little. Conceited fool to think that Megan would take it so hard! In a week or two she would almost have forgotten! And he well, he would have the reward of virtue! A good young man!
"I remembers one day I said to 'er: 'What's the matter, Megan? 'er name was Megan David, she come from Wales same as 'er aunt, ol' Missis Narracombe. 'Yu'm frettin' about somethin'. I says. 'No, Jim, she says, 'I'm not frettin'. 'Yes, yu be! I says. 'No, she says, and to tears cam' rollin' out. 'Yu'm cryin' what's that, then? I says.
Had any man ever such a cruel moment to go through? Whatever he did, he felt he would be a beast. And he uttered a groan which made a nursemaid turn and stare. He saw Megan stop and lean against the sea-wall, looking at the sea; and he too stopped. Quite likely she had never seen the sea before, and even in her distress could not resist that sight.
"How do you know that, you little rascal?" "When I was asleep, she said: 'God bless us all, an' Mr. Ashes. I yeard 'er whisperin'." "You're a little ruffian to tell what you hear when you're not meant to hear it!" The little boy was silent. Then he said aggressively: "I can skin rabbets. Megan, she can't bear skinnin' 'em. I like blood." "Oh! you do; you little monster!" "What's that?"
Ashurst pressed his face against a spray; and before his closed eyes Megan started up, with the tiny brown spaniel pup against her breast. "I thought of a girl that I might have you know. I was glad I hadn't got her on my mind!"
Now that he felt the die really cast, and Megan given up, he hated himself, and almost hated the Hallidays and their atmosphere of healthy, happy English homes. Why should they have chanced here, to drive away first love to show him that he was going to be no better than a common seducer?
And the sound of Schumann's music throbbed and mingled with his fevered thoughts, and he saw again Stella's cool, white, fair-haired figure and bending neck, the queer, angelic radiance about her. 'I must have been I must be-mad! he thought. 'What came into me? Poor little Megan! "God bless us all, and Mr. Ashes! I want to be with you only to be with you!"
She gave him one upward look, from eyes much dilated; then, catching her breath, turned away. Ashurst followed. "Megan!" But she went on; and taking hold of her arm, he turned her gently round to him. "Stop and speak to me." "Why do you beg my pardon? It is not to me you should do that." "Well, then, to Joe." "How dare he come after me?" "In love with you, I suppose." She stamped her foot.
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