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Updated: June 23, 2025
At last he found himself in the little bureau and dressing-room in which Goldwater was angrily changing his trousers. Kloot, the actor-manager's factotum, a big-nosed insolent youth, sat on the table beside the telephone, a peaked cap on his head, his legs swinging. 'Son of a witch! You come and disturb all my house. What do you want? cried Goldwater. 'I want to talk to you about rehearsals.
'I told you I would let you know when rehearsals began. 'But you forgot to take my address. 'As if I don't know where to find you! Kloot grinned. 'Pinchas gets drinks from all the café, he put in. 'They drink to the health of "Hamlet," said Pinchas proudly. 'All right; Kloot's gotten your address. Good-evening. 'But when will it be? I must know. 'We can't fix it to a day.
Any scribbler can translate Shakespeare. 'Perhaps, but who can surpass Shakespeare? Who can make him intelligible to the modern soul? 'Mr. Goldwater, cried the call-boy, with the patness of a reply. The irate manager bustled out, not sorry to escape with his dignity and so cheap a masterpiece. Kloot was left, with swinging legs, dominating the situation.
He wheeled to the left, to where the stage-box, shrouded in brown holland, loomed ghostly. 'No, said Kloot, 'that door's got stuck. You must come round by the stage-door. Pinchas retraced his footsteps, barking the smooth remainder of his shins. He allowed himself a palpitating pause before the lobby posters. His blood chilled.
You are interrupting the poesy. 'Who has drawn and quartered my play? Speak! 'I've only arranged it for the stage, said Kloot, unabashed. 'You! gasped the poet. 'You said I and you are the only two men who understand how to treat poesy. 'You understand push-carts, not poesy! hissed the poet. 'You conspire to keep me out of the theatre I will summons you! 'We had to keep all authors out.
'You low-down monkey! Goldwater almost flung his brush into the poet's face. 'You compare my wife to a kangaroo! Take your filthy manuscript and begone where the pepper grows. 'Well, Fanny would be rather funny as Ophelia, put in Kloot pacifyingly. 'And to make your wife ridiculous as Ophelia, added Pinchas eagerly, 'you would rob the world of your Hamlet! 'I can get plenty of Hamlets.
Nicholas dolls with currant eyes, and they knew at once that there was nothing else in all the market they should like so much! "Do these cost two cents apiece, dear Vrouw Van der Kloot?" asked Kat. "No," said Vrouw Van der Kloot; "they cost one cent apiece." The Twins were discouraged. "I don't believe there's a single thing in this whole market that costs just two cents," said Kat.
There's plenty of money in this piece yet. 'Money bah! But merit? 'You fellows are as jealous as the devil. 'Me jealous of kangaroos! In Central Park you see giraffes and tortoises too. Central Park has more talent than this scribbler of yours. 'I doubt if there's a bigger peacock than here, murmured Goldwater. 'I'll write you about rehearsals, said Kloot, winking at Goldwater.
Kloot had been glad that the Journalist had left before the episode; but when he saw the account he wished the scribe had stayed. 'He won't play Hamlet with that pair of shiners, Pinchas prophesied early the next morning to the supping café. Radsikoff beamed and refilled Pinchas's glass with champagne.
But that he himself should be refused when he tried to pass in 'on his face' that authors should be admitted neither at the stage door nor at the public door this had not occurred to him as within the possibilities of even theatrical humanity. 'Pigs! Pigs! Pigs! he shrieked into the box office. 'You and Goldwater and Kloot! Pigs! Pigs! Pigs! I have indeed cast my pearls before swine.
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