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Updated: May 6, 2025
The child nodded emphatically. "Yes, sir," she said. "And I haven't been kept after since that once." "Sho! sho! Course you ain't'! So you think Bayport's as nice as Concord, do you?" "Oh! lots nicer! If mamma was only here I'd never want to be anywhere else. And not then, maybe, unless you was there, too." "Hum! Want to know! Say, Bos'n, how would you feel if you had to go somewheres else?"
It is hard to figure percentages when the most intimate details of Bayport's family life are being recited and gloated over on the other side of a thin partition. And when Matilda undertook to defend the Come-Outer faith against the assaults of the majority, the verbal riot was, as Mr. Tidditt described it, "like feedin' time in a parrot shop."
The idea of meek, bald-headed little Bailey posing as proprietor of anything while his wife is on deck, tickles Bayport's sense of humor. The perspiring delinquents panted into the yard of the perfect boarding house and tremblingly opened the door leading to the dining room. Dinner was well under way, and Mrs.
It is one of Bayport's pet yarns, that at the Harniss Spiritualist camp-meeting when the "test medium" announced from the platform that he had a message for a lady named Hephzibah C he "seemed to get the name Hephzibah C" Hephzy got up and walked out.
Next to the harbor appropriation, the question of what should be done about the "Cy Whittaker place" filled Bayport's thoughts that spring. No one, however, had supposed that the Honorable Heman might wish to buy it. Bailey Bangs's surprise was excusable. "What in the world," repeated Bailey, "does Heman want of a shebang like that? Ain't he got enough already?" His friend shook his head.
"When I am ashamed of you, Hephzy," I replied, "I shall be on my way to the insane asylum, not to Europe. You are much more likely to be ashamed of me." "The idea! And you the pride of this town! The only author that ever lived in it unless you call Joshua Snow an author, and he lived in the poorhouse and nobody but himself was proud of HIM." Josh Snow was Bayport's Homer, its only native poet.
Tidditt, says she, 'there's one thing I'll say for you you don't talk." Miss Phinney boarded with the Bangses, and Bailey was acquainted with her personal peculiarities; for that matter so were most of Bayport's permanent residents. "Humph!" he snorted indignantly. "She thought 'twas a good thing not to talk, hey? SHE did? Well, by mighty! you never get no CHANCE to talk when she's around.
He picked her up and, holding her with a grip which testified to the nerve strain he had been under, stepped forward to meet the stranger, whose coming had been so opportune. And she WAS a stranger. The captain knew most of Bayport's inhabitants by this time, or thought he did, but he did not know her.
And she knows, just as I do, that Bayport's the best place in the world; don't you, Mrs. Knowles?" "Yes," said Frances, "I am sure of it, Mr. Tidditt." So Asaph went away triumphantly happy. After he had gone I apologized for him. "He's a fair sample," I said. "He is a quahaug, although he doesn't know it. He is a certain type, an exaggerated type, of American." Frances smiled.
Year by year it became more of a disgrace in the eyes of Bayport's neat and thrifty inhabitants for neat and thrifty we are, if we do say it.
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