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Updated: September 24, 2025
Look there; there's that idiot of a plumber who's done all the mischief a nice funk he'll be in when he sees us! But Mr. Peagrum was quite unperturbed; if anything, his smudgy features wore a look of sombre complacency as he came towards them. 'I'm sorry this should have occurred, he said,'but you'll bear me out that I warned yer as something was bound to 'appen.
Shrig, sighing deeper than ever, "you 'appen to be my pal!" Bright rose the sun upon the "White Hart" tavern that stands within Eltham village, softening its rugged lines, gilding its lattices, lending its ancient timbers a mellower hue. But surely never, in all its length of days, had it experienced quite such a morning as this.
But it's always the same with us widows: if we 'appen to 'ave been lucky the first time, we put it down to our own judgment think we can't ever make a mistake; and if we draw a wrong 'un, as the saying is, we argue as if it was the duty of Providence to make it up to us the second time.
'Has Thornton any horses? asked Sponge. 'Not he, replied Leather, 'not he, nor the gen'lman next him nouther he, in the pilot coat, with the whip sticking out of the pocket, nor the one in the coffee-coloured 'at, nor none on 'em in fact'; adding, 'they all live on Squire Waffles breakfast with him dine with him drink with him smoke with him and if any on 'em 'appen to 'ave an 'orse, why they sell to him, and so ride for nothin' themselves.
Jennings all alone to himself for over a couple of hours walking up and down the Commercial Road talking about the weather; Charles saying 'ow wet and cold it, was, and thinking p'r'aps they 'ad better go off 'ome afore she got a chill. He complained to Ted about it when 'e got 'ome, and Ted promised as it shouldn't 'appen agin.
John Biggs looked at it, and then 'e asked the conjurer once more to do the trick, but 'e wouldn't. "It can't be done now," he ses; "and I warn you that if that pistol is fired I won't be responsible for what'll 'appen." "George Kettle shall load the pistol and fire it if 'e won't," ses Bob Pretty. "'Aving been in the Militia, there couldn't be a better man for the job."
Why, blime me, mite, this here's the worst bleedin' job in the Army; a man digs till the sweat rolls off, and all he gets for it is a bleedin' shilling, and he has to give six-pence of that to the old woman; blime, it doesn't leave ye enough for bacca, and all the fellas think this is a bomb-proof job why, blime, you dig and sweat for days, and Fritz sends along a blinkin' torpedo and fills up the tunnel, and there's all your hard work gone to 'ell, and you with it too if you 'appen to be around," and believe me I found out that most of what he told me was true, and sapping was no bomb-proof job.
"I doot but yo'll be too drunk to see owt except, 'appen, your bottle," the boy shouted back; and swaggered down the hill. At Kenmuir that night the marked and particular kindness of Elizabeth Moore was too much for the overstrung lad. Overcome by the contrast of her sweet motherliness, he burst into a storm of invective against his father, his home, his life everything.
"H'anyway, right 'ere's where h'I stick, h'and once th' bloomin' 'eathen show a 'ead above the 'atchway, h'I 'ates t' think what'll 'appen to 'im."
Then she heard the burglar draw a long breath, and he spoke. 'It's a judgement, he said, 'so help me bob if it ain't. Oh, 'ere's a thing to 'appen to a chap! Makes it come 'ome to you, don't it neither? Cats an' cats an' cats. There couldn't be all them cats. Let alone the cow. If she ain't the moral of the old man's Daisy. She's a dream out of when I was a lad I don't mind 'er so much.
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