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Updated: May 15, 2025
Father Corrigan gave up the carving in less than no time, for it would take him half a day to sarve them all, and he wanted to provide for number one. After helping himself, he set my uncle to it, and maybe he didn't slash away right and left. There was half a dozen gorsoons carrying about the beer in cans, with froth upon it like barm but that was beer in airnest, Nancy I'll say no more."
"Now, Cousin Nimbus, yer ain't in airnest, is yer? Yer don't mean dat, pop-suah, does yer now?" asked Berry anxiously. "Dat I does, Cousin Berry! dat I does!" was the hearty response. "Whoop, hurrah!" cried Berry, throwing up his hat, turning a hand-spring, and catching the hat as it came down. "Whar's dat Sally Ann? H'yeah, you fellers, clar away dar an' let me come at her.
They've lost their leader, an' ther hain't no one ter take his place. They'll know now thet we're in dead airnest. Boys, go inter the house an' git all the guns thar is thar, an' what vittles an' blankets ye want; but make haste, fur we must git away from heah in a hurry. "I run ez fast ez my feet'd carry me to whar David lay stone dead.
"'Oh, there's many a true word said in joke, says I. "'Thrue for you, Paddy, says he. "'Oh, by gor, the butther's comin' out o' the stirabout in airnest now, says he; 'you gommoch, says he, 'sure I told you before that's France and, sure, they're all furriners there, says the captain. "'Well, says I, 'and how do you know but I'm as good a furriner myself as any o' thim?
"'What for? says he. "'I think I see the land, says I. "'Hurrah! says he, 'we're all right now; pull away, my boys, says he. "'Take care you're not mistaken, says I; 'maybe it's only a fog-bank, Captain darlint, says I. "'Oh no, says he; 'it's the land in airnest.
Well, says I, Professor, send for Sam Patch, the diver, and let him dive down and stick a torpedo in the bottom of the Province and blow it up; or if that won't do, send for some of our steam tow boats from our great Eastern cities, and tow it out to sea; you know there's nothing our folks can't do, when they once fairly take hold on a thing in airnest.
"Well, it don't matter what it means it's nothin' or nonsense, if you like but wot do you mean, old man, `that's the rub, as Hamblet, or some such c'racter, said to his father-in-law; you ain't in airnest, are you?" "Jowin," answered the Chief, with immovable gravity, "I not onderstan' you. Wot you mean by airnest?"
If poor Beck didn't let go then in airnest, and sing out for dear life, it's a pity, for she had gone head first into the swill tub, and the tea-kettle had scalded her feet. She kept a-dancin' right up and down, like one ravin' distracted mad, and boo-hoo'd like anything, clawin' away at her head the whole time, to clear away the stuff that stuck to her wool.
Well, Bill Malowney follied her down the boreen, to try could he deludher her back again; but, if she was bitther before, she gave it to him in airnest when she got him alone to herself, and to that degree that he wished her safe home, short and sulky enough, an' walked back again, as mad as the devil himself, to the wake, to pay a respect to poor Tom Dundon.
"'Oh, but I'm in airnest, says the captain; 'and do you tell me, Paddy, says he, 'that you spake Frinch? "'Parly voo frongsay? says I. "'By gor, that bangs Banagher, and all the world knows Banagher bangs the divil. I never met the likes o' you, Paddy, says he. 'Pull away, boys, and put Paddy ashore, and maybe we won't get a good bellyful before long.
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