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Updated: June 21, 2025
"The die is cast for us all, Sir Duncan," replied Allan, looking gloomy, and arguing on his own hypochondriac feelings; "the iron hand of destiny branded our fate upon our forehead long ere we could form a wish, or raise a finger in our own behalf. Were this otherwise, by what means does the Seer ascertain the future from those shadowy presages which haunt his waking and his sleeping eye?
Formerly I spent hours and hours watching the transformations in the clouds, or gazing at a solitary tree in the plain or a high rock, without knowing why, without being able to explain the vague feelings they awoke in me. My uncle used to preach long sermons to me, and fearing that I would become a hypochondriac, talked of placing me under a doctor's care.
Every attentive person must have observed, that too frequent intercourse between nervous and hypochondriac patients is infectious; and if this be the case, public assemblies, for exhibiting magnetised individuals, can neither be safe nor proper.
When he was ready for action, I took him in tow, and ran him in to draw the Popworth's fire in other words, introduced him to my uncle in the library. The meeting of my tall, lank relative and the big-nosed little Jew was a spectacle to cure a hypochondriac! "Mr. Jacob Menzel gentleman from Germany travelling in this country," I yelled in the old fellow's ear.
They have no healthy activity; or, if they have, they invariably lose it in the second act; in the end, they are all hypochondriac philosophers, puzzling over eternity and dissecting the attributes of Death.
Then, what think you of Columbus, and the stern soul of Cortes, and the kingdom of Mexico, and the strange gold city of the Peruvians, with that audacious brute Pizarro; and the Polynesians, just for all the world like the Ancient Britons; and the American Indians and the South-sea Islanders? How petulant and young and adventurous and frisky your hypochondriac must get upon a regimen like that!
"Well, then, I have been watching you half the afternoon, and I have made up my mind about you more nearly than ever before." "And what am I?" asked Crawford, with just a dash of impatience in his tone. "A hypochondriac!" said Joe. "You are a little sick, and you think yourself much worse. You look better and feel better within the last hour "
"That you unwittingly posted us concerning your real trouble. Do you realize what it is? You're a hypo hypo what do they call it? hypochondriac!" "I am not!" "And your doctor your famous specialist is a fool." "Oh, Miss Doyle!" "Also you are a a chump, to follow his fool advice. You don't need sympathy, Mr. A. Jones. What you need is a slapstick." "A a " "A slapstick.
I do not believe that we Christian people half enough realise how imperative a Christian duty, as well as how great a Christian privilege, it is to be glad always. You have no right to be anxious; you are wrong to be hypochondriac and depressed, and weary and melancholy. True; there are a great many occasions in our Christian life which minister sadness.
Equally deep, too, and unalienable, is my conviction that "the fruit of sin is misery." A second birth to the soul is therefore a necessity which sin forces upon us. Ay, but not against the desperate will that rejects it. This conclusion was not anticipated when I wrote the first sentence of the preceding paragraph. But it does not surprise me. The Hypochondriac.
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