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The men and boys used to laugh, and call me General, and Lord Cornwallis, and all sorts of nicknames; and old Stiffelkind made a thousand new ones for me. One day I can recollect one miserable day, as I was polishing on the trees a pair of boots of Mr. Stiffelkind's manufacture the old gentleman came into the shop, with a lady on his arm. "Vere is Gaptain Stobbs?" said he.
"I never would sell dem; I svore I never vood, on porpus to be revenged on dat Stobbs." "What! your wound has never been HEALED, eh?" "Vat do you mean vid your bootless errands, and your soling and healing?
Poorly, indeed, now sound the names of Johnny Armstrong, Sim of Whittram, Sim of the Cathill, Kinmont Willie, or Christie's Will, besides those of Dukes of Buccleuch and Roxburgh, Scott of Harden, and Elliot of Stobbs and Wells; and yet, without wishing to take away the merit or the extent of their ancestors' own "reif and felonie," how much do they owe to their succession to the ill-got gear of those hardy Borderers whose names and scarcely credible achievements are all that have escaped the rapacity that, not satisfied with their lands, took also their lives!
But all Margaret's arguments and Will's courage were on one occasion overturned, by the riever's apprehension for stealing a cow, belonging to a farmer at Stobbs, of the name of Grant. He was carried to Jedburgh jail, and indicted to stand his trial before the Lord Justice-General at the next circuit.
I didn't say a word, but cried on; till everybody in the street turned round and stared. "Come, come," said Stiffelkind, "do not gry, Gaptain Stobbs it is not goot for a Gaptain to gry ha! ha! Dere come vid me, and you shall have a dinner, and a bregfast too, vich shall gost you nothing, until you can bay vid your earnings."
"All right: hoist away!" shouted Stobbs, another of the men, who could scarce refrain from laughing at the rueful countenance of his comrade as he surveyed his crushed thumb. Up went the stone, and while it was ascending some of the men brought forward another to follow it.
"I don't know that, Isaac. It certainly seems very unlikely that any one should start up to befriend us here, but with God all things are possible. At the worst, I know that if we are to remain here, it's His will that we should." "Humph! I wish ye much comfort o' the thought: it doesn't give much to me," remarked Stobbs.
Stiffelkind, have you got me a place under Government?" "Yes, and somting better still not only a place, but a uniform: yes, Gaptain Stobbs, a RED GOAT." "A red coat! I hope you don't think I would demean myself by entering the ranks of the army? I am a gentleman, Mr. Stiffelkind I can never no, I never "
That is the story as it is usually known. But it is fair to add that the tale is differently told in Chambers' Domestic Annals of Scotland, where it is stated that Colonel Stewart was "a huffing, hectoring person," and that he had given "great provocation, and gentlemen afterwards admitted that Stobbs was called upon by the laws of honour to take notice of the offence."
"Shall Christie's Will, the bravest man o' the Borders, be hanged because a cow, that kenned nae better, followed him frae Stobbs to the Hollows; and shall it be said that Margaret Elliot was the death o' her braw riever? I had meat enough in Gilnockie larder that day I scorned him wi' his laziness, and forced him to do the deed that has brought him to Jedburgh jail.
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