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Updated: June 25, 2025
I'm not saying that licker is a soothin' syrup for a man's morals, but what I am saying is that if a feller has got it in him to be ornery, he'll be ornery, drunk or sober. I was tellin' Parson Mackenzie only this morning that him and me both have good reason for not touchin' the stuff, for different reasons, of course, but I didn't see why other people oughtn't to have it if they want it.
'ow that puts me in mind of my pore 'usband," chirped the cricket; "bein' a printer, and accustomed like a howl to the darkness, when 'e was 'ome for the night 'e walked up and down till 'e wore out the carpet, bein' an expensive one, as I 'ad on my marriage, an' the only way I could stop 'im was by givin' 'im something soothin', which you, sir, ought to try whisky 'ot, with lemon and sugar but I've 'eard tell as chloroform "
The other men laughed, but the Red Fox looked meek and lowly. "I'm a servant of the Lord. He says do this, an' I does it the best I know how. I goes about a-preachin' the word in the wilderness an' a-healin' the sick with soothin' yarbs and sech." "An' a-makin' compacts with the devil," said old Judd shortly, "when the eye of man is a-lookin' t'other way."
I wuz dead stuck on that baby gol durn his pictur'! And there the little tyke set in its mother's lap, doublin' up its fists 'nd tryin' to swaller 'em, 'nd talkin' like to its mother in a lingo I couldn't understan', but which the mother could, for she talked back to the baby in a soothin' lingo which I couldn't understand, but which I liked to hear, 'nd she kissed the baby 'nd stroked its hair 'nd petted it like wimmin do.
"`That's a busted-up state o' ignorance, no doubt' said I, in a soothin' sort o' way, for I see'd the man was riled pretty bad by ancient memories, an' looked gittin' waxier. He wore a black eye, too, caught in a free fight the night before, which didn't improve his looks. `You said we just now, says I. `Was you one o' them?
Ma Pulsifer is bitin' her lip; but she's right there with the soothin' words. "Please, Dear," says she, "let me go. They want you to finish your story." It was a happy touch, that last. Pa Pulsifer recovers his napkin, settles back in his chair, and goes on with the tale, while Mother slips out quiet.
You know that 'Blue Grass," pointing out a spirited leader; "she's a fair horse ez horses go, but she's apt to feel her oats on a down grade, and takes a pow'ful deal o' soothin' and explanation afore she buckles down to her reg'lar work.
"No sayin' but he might if he was to took a drop o' soothin' syrup." "What about the dog?" "He could 'ave some soothin' syrup, too. 'Elp him with his teethin'." The tout turned his back with a somewhat unnecessary regard for decency, produced a bank-note and flourished it. "What's that?" asked Monkey. "Little bit o' crumpled paper." "Let's see it." "You may smell it. Only don't touch."
Oh, how incoherent and over-crazed he was a becomin'! Who ever heard of seein' anybody's feet in a lookin' glass of dependin' on a lookin' glass for a sight on 'em? Oh, how I pitied that man! and I bent down and says to him in soothin' axents: "Josiah Allen, to please your pardner you put on your stockin's and get into this buggy.
"You won't have to take so much sody followin' meals to sweeten you up.... G'-by, Deacon.... Soothin' syrup. Um!... I swanny...." He looked across the square and saw that Pliny Pickett was delighting an audience with apochryphal reminiscences, doubtless of a gallant and spicy character.
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