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Updated: May 19, 2025
"Well, if that ain't a master one," he said to himself, "and she called herself his wife, she did, and then drew up like a slug's horns. Hang me if I don't stick to her till I find out a bit more of the tale." Thus ruminated George, who, be it observed, was no fool, and who had a hearty dislike and mistrust of Mr. Quest.
Back at the faro table now, the incident having passed quickly into oblivion, Sonora called to the dealer for "a slug's worth of chips" a request that was promptly acceded to. But they had played only a few minutes when a thin but somewhat sweet tenor voice was heard singing: "Wait for the waggon, Wait for the waggon, Wait for the waggon, And we'll all take a ride. Wait for the waggon "
Anything so heart-rending as Mr. Slug's sufferings it has never yet been my lot to witness. 'Seven o'clock. 'A messenger has just come down for a clean pocket-handkerchief from Professor Woodensconce's bag, that unfortunate gentleman being quite unable to leave the deck, and imploring constantly to be thrown overboard.
The reason you're on this doggone trail chasin' glory wot don't never git around, is worryin' along in a buckboard ahead of us, behind ole Minky's mule, an' he's hoofin' to home at an express slug's gait. That's the reason you're on the trail, an' nothin' else.
Slug's bed is a long tin tube of about three inches in diameter, carefully closed at both ends. What can this contain? Some powerful instrument of a new construction, doubtless. 'Ten minutes past nine. 'Nobody has yet arrived, nor has anything fresh come in my way except several joints of beef and mutton, from which I conclude that a good plain dinner has been provided for to-morrow.
Life is the distribution of an error or errors. v Butler was an omnium gatherum. Yes, but life is an omnium gatherum. vi Life is a superstition. But superstitions are not without their value. The snail's shell is a superstition, slugs have no shells and thrive just as well. But a snail without a shell would not be a slug unless it had also the slug's indifference to a shell. vii
Who has not, at some time or other in his life, watched the comings and goings of an ant, slipped straws into a yellow slug's one breathing-hole, studied the vagaries of a slender dragon-fly, pondered admiringly over the countless veins in an oak-leaf, that bring the colors of a rose window in some Gothic cathedral into contrast with the reddish background?
You can scarcely conceive how exciting the jerking pulsation of the ship becomes. It is a matter of positive difficulty to get to sleep. 'Friday afternoon, six o'clock. 'I regret to inform you that Mr. Slug's plaster has proved of no avail. He is in great agony, but has applied several large, additional pieces notwithstanding.
Our strong-featured, energetic president, Jerome Miller, together with the suave, plausible Travers, went to see him, deputation-wise, where he sat, in the Laurel Globe's editorial office, white and unhealthy-looking, a great, fat slug of a man, with the slug's nature, which battens on the corruption of earth. He liked the idea of the publicity his paper would get through the stunt of the "boys."
The satire closes with a hit at "Slug's" devotion to tobacco: "Men of sound reason use their pipes For colics, pains, and windy gripes; And smoking's useful, we will own, To give the nerves and fluids tone; But poor old Slug has to confess He uses it to great excess, And will indulge his appetite Beyond his reason and his light.
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