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Updated: June 26, 2025
There was much commotion, the men pointing out the game and shouting excitedly, "See the wild boar!" otherwise I should not have known what was up, but now, looking in the indicated direction, I saw scudding over the plain what appeared to me to be nothing but a halfgrown black pig, or shoat.
If I ever have a fireside and children, I'll sit beside it and tell 'em how their daddy toted off a shoat from a whole circus full of people. And maybe my grandchildren, too. They'll certainly be proud a whole passel. Why, says he, 'there was two tents, one openin' into the other. This shoat was on a platform, tied with a little chain.
We then sallied forth and approached the end door of the barn. Inside, the young cattle were bellowing and bawling. Below, in the barn cellar, sheep were bleating, and a shoat was adding its raucous voice to the uproar. Above it all, however, we could hear eight old turkeys and a peacock that were wintering in the west barn, "quitting" and "quuttering" aloft, where they roosted on the high beams.
"'Are there any more witnesses? inquired the court. "He was informed that there were no more. "'Well, said 'Squire' Green, 'the two witnesses we have heard have sworn to a lie. I know this shoat, and I know it belongs to Jack Kelso. I therefore decide this case in his favor."
"That man," said a Lieutenant, "when he saw our Brigadier coming up, presented him with a couple of persimmons very politely. But it was no go; the General ordered him under guard and eat the persimmons as part of the punishment." "Well," rejoined the Colonel, "we'll let you off with guard duty for the night." No. 2. "Killing a shoat while the Regiment halted at noon."
Now she cries a heap mo' 'n that thar shoat" his lips curled in contempt as he glanced toward the door, through which was visible a small rotund figure in pink calico, seated upon the lowest log of the wood-pile "ez she fotched down hyar with her.
"And he stole yo' shoat and never paid for him?" he heard his honor say one day in a hog case, where two farmers who had been waiting hours for Tom's coming were plaintiff and defendant. "How did you know it was yo' shoat did you mark him?" "No, suh." "Tie a tag around his neck?" "No, suh." "Well, you just keep yo' hogs inside yo' lot. Too many loose hogs runnin' 'round.
"If you had the spirit of a man, Clifford if you were not a poor shoat you'd never have submitted so long as you have to this viper's insolence. And there you stand, doing nothing absolutely still as a stock, though you see him beating your wife. Ah! you monster! you coward! that I should ever have married a man that wasn't able to protect me."
"Stephen Underhill's got the making of a good substantial man in him," grunted father Beekman. "If he'd been a poor shoat he wouldn't have hung around here very long, would he, Katschina? We'd 'a put a flea in his ear, wouldn't we." Katschina arched her back. Dolly laughed and blushed. Stephen was her own true-love anyway, but she was glad to have them all like him.
A great crowd had assembled, due to the honorable curiosity in the neighborhood to know who would "testify," who would confess his fault or proclaim that he had forgiven some brother man about a line fence between their farms or a shoat. It was, indeed, a sort of Dun and Bradstreet opportunity to know the exact spiritual standing of every man and woman in the community.
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