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I shall never forget the exquisite spasm of pleasure his plaintive "Ouch!" gave me. Then Harold passed swiftly out of my life. Mr. Rocksworth, reinforced by four reluctant mercenaries in the shape of porters, was advancing upon me. Somehow I had a vague, but unerring instinct that some one had fainted, but I didn't stop to inquire.

I went out and bought a new brassie to replace the one destroyed by the experimenting Rocksworth youth, and before I got through with it had a new putter, a niblick and a spoon, neither of which I needed for the excellent reason that I already possessed a half dozen of each. Keyed up to a high pitch of enthusiasm, I played golf for ten days, and found my friend to be a fine sportsman.

"Get out!" I repeated. "I am the owner of this place, Mr. Rocksworth, and I am mad through and through. Skip!" "I'll have the law " "Law be hanged!" "If it costs me a million, I'll get " "It will cost you a million if you don't get!" I advised him, seeing that he paused for want of breath. I left him standing there, but had the presence of mind to wave my huge henchmen away. Mr.

"I am," said I. "You quite took me by surprise. I should have made myself more presentable if I had known " "Well, let's move on upstairs," said Rocksworth. Addressing the porters he said: "You fellows get this lot of stuff together and I'll take an option on it. I'll be over to-morrow to close the deal, Mr. Mr. Now, where is the old Florentine mirror the Count was telling us about?"

"I regret to say that I have never heard of Mr. Riley-Werkheimer. I did not know that Mrs. Riley-Werkheimer's husband was living. And may I ask who you are?" "Oh, I am also a nobody," said he, with a wink at his purple-jowled companion. "I am only poor old Rocksworth, the president of the " "Oh, don't say anything more, Mr. Rocksworth," I cried. "I have heard of you. This fine old spinet?

I moved forward apologetically. "I am afraid it is not onions you smell, ladies and gentlemen." I had taken my cue with surprising quickness. "They are raising the dead. The place is fairly alive with dead rats and " "Good Lord!" gasped Riley-Werkheimer. "We'll get the bubonic plague here." "Oh, I know onions," said Rocksworth calmly. "Can't fool me on onions. They are onions, ain't they, Carrie?"

They tried not to look impressed, but rather overdid it. "That's the sort of a story you fellows always put up, you skinflints from Boston. I'll bet my head you are from Boston," said Mr. Rocksworth shrewdly. "I couldn't afford to have you lose your head, Mr. Rocksworth, so I shan't take you on," said I merrily. "Don't get fresh now," said he stiffly. Mr.

Well, it has been reduced in price. Ten thousand dollars, Mr. Rocksworth." "Ten thousand nothing! I'll take it at seventy-five dollars. And now let's talk about this here hall-seat. My wife thinks it's a fake. What is its history, and what sort of guarantee can you " "A fake!" I cried in dismay. "My dear Mr.

At that instant the carpenters, plumbers and stone masons resumed their infernal racket, while scrubwomen, polishers and painters began to move intimately among us. "Here!" roared Mr. Rocksworth. "Stop this beastly noise! What the deuce do you mean, sir, permitting these scoundrels to raise the dead like this? Confound 'em, I stopped them once. Here! You! Let up on that, will you?"

Rocksworth bounced toward me, his cane raised. I whirled upon him. "How dare you!" he shouted. The ladies squealed. If he expected me to cringe, he was mightily mistaken. My blood was up. I advanced. "Paste him, Dad!" roared Harold. But Mr. Rocksworth suddenly altered his course and put the historic treaty table between him and me. He didn't like the appearance of my rather brawny fist.