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Updated: May 13, 2025
I prefer, both as less popularised and as more unique still, the following most business-like plan and programme of an elopement. Like Mr. Foker's fight with the post-boy it "didn't come off" as first planned; but Fortune favoured it later. I writ you a letter last night in some passion. I begin to fear again; I own myself a coward. You made no reply to one part of my letter concerning my fortune.
The post-boy's smile, or so much as could be seen of it by the edge of the lamp, grew more knowing. "I ask no questions, sir." "But but who ordered you?" The post-boy did not observe, or disregarded, his bewilderment. "A Briton's a Briton, sir, I hope? I ask no questions, knowing my place. . . . But if so be as you were to tell me there's been a great victory " He paused on this.
The horses could only proceed at the slowest of foot-paces, and we were constantly brought to a complete stop for some minutes before the post-boy could force a passage through the unwilling crowd. This produced a feeling of irritation, and despair of ever reaching my destination; and the mirth and careless hilarity of the people round us chafed with bitter contrast on my depressed spirits.
You may say then that Colonel Taubmann had fair warning. Yet it was far from preparing him for the welcome he received, three weeks later, when he drove down to Plymouth to hold his inspection, due notice of which had been received by Captain Pond ten days before. "What the devil's the meaning of this?" demanded Colonel Taubmann as his post-boy reined up on the knap of the hill above the town.
Pelham won't keep you any longer sharp shower coming on. 'The devil will soon be basting his wife with a leg of mutton, as the proverb says au plaisir, Mr. Pelham." And at these words my post-boy started, and released me from my bete noire.
He was long and lean, and brown and bilious; he had the drooping nose of the humourist, and the quick attention of a man of parts. He read my embarrassment in a glance, stepped instantly forward, sent the post-boy to the rightabout with half a word, and was back next moment at my side. 'Dinner in a private room, sir? Very well. John, No. 4! What wine would you care to mention? Very well, sir.
At last it stopped at the door of the lunatic asylum, and the post-boy dismounting from his reeking horses, pulled violently at a large bell, which answered with a most lugubrious tolling, and struck awe into the breast of Mrs Forster. When the door was opened, Mr Ramsden's servant alighted, and went in to deliver his letter to the doctor.
But when the irresistible arguments of the post-boy have prevailed upon them to proceed a mile or two, they will become callous to the first sensation; and being warm in the harness, as the said post-boy may term it, proceed as if their withers were altogether unwrung.
One letter, written by a great man of the period, had on the back of it the words, `In haste; post haste, for thy life, for thy life, for thy life; and it is believed that this was no idle caution, but a threat which was apt to be carried out if the post-boy loitered on the way."
"Why, yes, o' course, sir, all grooms smokes or chews, but I prefers a pipe allus 'ave, ah! ever since I were a kid. But I mostly only 'as a pipe when I drop in on my pal Nick in Giles's Rents." "Down by the River?" inquired Barnabas. "Yessir. And now, shall I horder the post-boy to stop?" "What for?"
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