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Updated: May 2, 2025
Polwarth!" he said once. "It troubles me much. I don't seem to care for anything now. I don't want to hear the New Testament: I would rather hear a child's story something that did not want thinking about. If I am not coughing, I am content. I could lie for hours and hours and never think more than what goes creeping through my mind no faster than a canal in Holland.
Leopold's big eyes went wandering from one to the other of the two men. "What a horrible world it is!" was the thought that kept humming on like an evil insect in Helen's heart. "I am sorry to see you suffer so much," said Leopold kindly, for he heard the laboured breath of the little man, and saw the heaving of his chest. "It does not greatly trouble me," returned Polwarth.
Ramshorn generally came to the meadow to see how the invalid was after he was settled, but she seldom staid: she was not fond of nursing, neither was there any need of her assistance; and as Helen never dreamed now of opposing the smallest wish of her brother, there was no longer any obstruction to the visits of Polwarth, which were eagerly looked for by Leopold.
At once he arranged with his assistant for being absent the whole day; and rode out, followed by his groom. At the gate Polwarth joined him, and walked beside him to the Old House, where his groom, he said, could put up the horses. That done, he accompanied him to the mouth of the tunnel, and there left him.
In the present case, unusual as it is for so many as three truth-loving men to come thus together on the face of this planet, here were three simply set on uttering truth they had seen, and gaining sight of truth as yet veiled from them. I shall attempt only a general impression of the result of their evening's intercourse, partly recording the utterances of Polwarth.
They will always have plenty of the feeling without that. A fit of coughing compelled him to break off, and when it was over, he lay panting and weary, but with his large eyes questioning the face of Polwarth. Then the little man spoke. "He must give us every sort of opportunity for trusting him," he said. "The one he now gives you, is this dulness that has come over you.
It makes the matter hardly a jot the better, only a man would not willingly look worse, or better either, than he is, and besides, we must understand each other if we would be friends. However unlikely it may seem to you, Mr. Polwarth, I really do share the common weakness of wanting to be taken exactly for what I am, neither more nor less."
Ah, how lovely she looked in the silent prayer of tears! But not even her tears could turn Wingfold from what seemed his duty. They could only bring answering tears from the depth of a tender heart. She saw he would not flinch. "Then may God do to you as you have done to me and mine!" she said. "Amen!" returned Wingfold and Polwarth together.
After the avowal you have made, I may well ask you again, How am I to know that there is a God?" "It were a more pertinent question, sir," returned Polwarth, "If there be a God, how am I to find him? And, as I hinted before, there is another question one you have already put more pertinent to your position as an English clergyman: Was there ever such a man as Jesus Christ?
Would you tell me what you mean by divine service, for I think you must use the phrase in some different sense from what I have been accustomed to?" "Ah! I ought to remember," said Polwarth, "that what has grown familiar to my mind from much solitary thinking, may not at once show itself to another, when presented in the forms of a foreign individuality.
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