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Updated: June 13, 2025
'What is the trouble now? I asked, for the last time we had met, Penfentenyou was floating a three-million pound loan for his beloved but unscrupulous Province, and I did not wish to entertain any more of his financial friends. 'We, Penfentenyou replied ambassadorially, 'have come to have a Voice in Your Councils. By the way, the Voice is coming down on the evening train with my Agent-General.
What I objected to was his ingratitude, while I thus tore up England to help him. So I said: "Why on earth didn't you see your Opposite Number in Town instead of bringing your office work here?" "Eh? Who?" said he, looking up from his fourth cable since lunch. "See the English Minister for Ways and Woodsides." "I saw him," said Penfentenyou, without enthusiasm.
We overtook them in a little nut wood half a mile up the road, where they had turned aside, and were rolling. So we rolled with them, and ceased not till we had arrived at the extremity of exhaustion. "You you saw it all, then?" said Lord Lundie, rebuttoning his nineteen-inch collar. "I saw it was a vital question from the first," responded Penfentenyou, and blew his nose. "It was.
Only an initiated few spend their holidays at Credence Green, and they have trained the householders to keep the place select. Penfentenyou made a grievance of this as we walked up the lane, followed at a distance by the organ-grinder. "Suppose he is having a house-party," he said: "Anything's possible in this insane land." Just at that minute we found ourselves opposite an empty villa.
"Oh, practical men, there is no ape here. Why do you waste one of God's own days on unprofitable discussion? Give me a match!" "I've a good mind to make you demonstrate in your own person. Come on, Bubbles! We'll make Jimmy climb!" There was a sound of scuffling, broken by squeaks from Jimmy of the high voice. I turned back and drew Penfentenyou into the side of the flanking hedge.
"Ta take me with you," said Jimmy. "I've no reputation to lose, but I'd like to watch 'em from er outside the picture." "There's always a modus viviendi," Penfentenyou murmured, and tiptoed along the hall to a back door, which he opened quite silently. We passed into a tangle of gooseberry bushes where, at his statesmanlike example, we crawled on all fours, and regained the hedge.
He advanced across the lawn eloquent as all the tides. The Agent-General was already arranging for drinks with Penfentenyou at the other end of the garden. Mr. Lingnam swept me on to the most remote bench and settled to his theme. We dined at eight. At nine Mr. Lingnam was only drawing abreast of things Imperial. At ten the Agent-General, who earns his salary, was shamelessly dozing on the sofa.
'Now, Mr. Lingnam will tell us exactly what he wants to see. He probably knows more about England than the rest of us put together. 'I read it up yesterday, said Mr. Lingnam simply. 'You'll drive, of course? said Penfentenyou to him. 'It's the only thing you know anything about. This astonished me, for your greater Federationists are rarely mechanicians, but Mr.
'Then tell him he mustn't undress in my hall, said a voice from the stair-head. 'Tell her Lingnam began. 'Come and look at the pretty suit I've chosen, Penfentenyou cooed, as one cajoling a maniac. I staggered out-of-doors again, and fell into the car, whose ever-running machinery masked my yelps and hiccups.
Then Penfentenyou, venal and adaptable politician of the type that survives at the price of all the higher emotions, appeared at the window of the house on my right, broken and congested with mirth, the woman beside him, and the child in his arms. I saw his mouth open and shut, he hollowed his hands round it, but the churr of the motor and the bees drowned his words.
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