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Updated: June 24, 2025
Tuk a vancy to a nice young 'ooman, and never kep her in doubt about it, though there wadn't mooch to zettle on her. Spak his maind laike a man, he did, and right happy he were wi' her. Ah, well a day! Ah, God knoweth best. I never shall zee his laike again. And he were the best judge of a dung-heap anywhere in this county.
Wy it is that long-stage coachmen possess such insiniwations, and is alvays looked up to a-dored I may say by ev'ry young 'ooman in ev'ry town he vurks through, I don't know. I only know that so it is. It's a regulation of natur a dispensary, as your poor mother-in-law used to say. 'A dispensation, said Sam, correcting the old gentleman.
You've deserved very different treatment from that young ooman, an' didn't expect that she'd return good for evil, I s'pose. That's because you don't know 'er; you don't understand 'er, you miserable lump of selfish stoopidity. 'Ows'ever, as I said before, I ain't a-goin' to waste no more time with you. But let me, before biddin' you adoo, give you a caution. Remember, that I've got my eye on you.
Not at Breakem's bank, for they're brewers, and hosiers, and chandlers, and horse-dealers ay, and swindlers too, the whole 'company' on 'em; not in mortgages, for I hate the very smell of a lawyer, with all his pounce and parchment; not in Gover'me't 'nuities, for I'm an old 'ooman, boy; and not in the Three per Cents, nor any other per cents, for I've sense enough to know that my highest interest lies in counting out, as my first principle is dropping in."
The breath was scarcely out o' your poor mother-in-law's body, ven vun old 'ooman sends me a pot o' jam, and another a pot o' jelly, and another brews a blessed large jug o' camomile-tea, vich she brings in vith her own hands. Mr.
But he says, `No, says he, `I married the old ooman for better an' for worse, an' I'll stick by her to the last. There's too many o' you chaps as leaves yer wives behind ye when ye go home I'm detarmined to sot ye a better example. An' so he did.
Hows'ever, when I growed up and ran away to sea and got back again an' repented mainly because I didn't like the sea I tuk to mendin' my ways a bit, an' tried to make up to the old 'ooman for my prewious wickedness.
"Do you mean to say that you'll take no more orders from me?" the old lady asked, in tones of suppressed anger. "Kyant do mo' 'n one ting ter oncet. Ob co'se I git yo' breakfas' when I kin. Reck'n dough we soon hab ter disergree on my wages. I'se a free ooman." "Oh, you are free and I am not. That's the new order of things your Yankee friends would bring about."
"Owld ooman," he said, commencing to unbutton his wet garments, "do 'ee git ready a cup o' tay, as fast as you can, lass; we shall have company to-night." "Company!" exclaimed Mrs Maggot in surprise; "what sort o' company?" "Oh! the best, the best," said Maggot with a laugh; "boatsmen no less so look sharp. Zackey booy, come here." "Zackey, my son," said Maggot while he continued his toilet.
As they sat down to tea, Zibbie put her head in at the door, and said, "The gude God bless ye, for ye ha' kept the auld 'ooman fra the cauld wourld yet." Delighted Hannah could not pass a biscuit without a courtesy.
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