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Updated: May 9, 2025
"Well, I ain't exactly a collecting agency, y'understand," Abe said; "but I'll see what my partner says, and if he's agreeable, I am. Only one thing though, Mr. Linkheimer, my partner bothers the life out of me I should get from you a recommendation." "I'll give you one with pleasure, Abe," Linkheimer replied; "but it isn't necessary." He returned to the front of the office and went to the safe.
He opened the middle compartment and pulled out a roll of bills. "You see, Abe," he said, counting out the money, "here it is: one hundred, two hundred, three hundred, four hundred and " Here Mr. Linkheimer paused and examined the last bill carefully, for instead of a hundred-dollar bill it was only a ten-dollar bill. "Well, what d'ye think of that dirty thief?" he cried at last.
And that's the way it goes. If we would hire this young feller because we got sympathy for him, Abe, the least that happens us is that he gets away with a couple hundred dollars' worth of piece goods." "Max Linkheimer says positively nothing of the kind," Abe insisted. "Max says the feller has turned around a new leaf, and he would trust him like a brother."
Maybe I do and maybe I don't, but just the same so positive I am he didn't done it, I'm going right down to Henry D. Feldman, and I will fix that feller Linkheimer he should work a poor half-starved yokel for five dollars a week and a couple of top-floor tenement rooms which it ain't worth six dollars a month. Wait! I'll show that sucker."
Once more he broke into a copious perspiration, as he handed a ten-dollar bill to Jake. "And so," Abe went on, "and so you must of took a hundred-dollar bill out of the safe last night, instead of a ten-dollar bill. Ain't it?" Linkheimer nodded again. "And so you made a mistake, ain't it?" Abe cried. "And this here feller Schenkmann didn't took no money out of the safe at all. Ain't it?"
"Out," he commanded; "out from mein store, you dawg, you!" As he rushed on the startled button dealer, Abe grabbed his coat-tails and pulled him back. "Say, what are we here, Mawruss," he cried, "a theaytre?" "Let him alone, Abe," Linkheimer counselled in a rather shaky voice. "I'm pretty nearly twenty years older than he is, but I guess I could cope with him."
"That Schenkmann has taken a hundred-dollar bill out of there." "What?" Abe exclaimed. "Just as sure as you are sitting there," Linkheimer went on excitedly. "That feller Schenkmann has pinched a hundred-dollar bill on me." Here his academic English completely forsook him and he continued in the vernacular of the lower East Side.
I seen Leon in the Harlem Winter Garden last night, and the goods he sold while he was talking to me and Barney Gans, Abe, in two seasons we don't do such a business. Yes, Abe; Leon Sammet is just such another one of them fellers like Max Linkheimer." "What d'ye mean 'such another one of them fellers like Max Linkheimer'?" Abe repeated.
"Not yet," Morris said significantly, "but when Feldman hears of this, you would quick get a summons for a couple of thousand dollars damages which you done this young feller Schenkmann by making him false arrested." "It ain't no more than you deserve, Linkheimer," Abe added. "You're lucky I don't sue you for trying to make trouble between me and my partner yet."
"Like a brother-in-law, you mean, Abe," Morris jeered. "That feller Linkheimer never trusted nobody for nothing, Abe. Always by the first of the month comes a statement, and if he don't get a check by the fifth, Abe, he sends another with 'past due' stamped on to it." "So much the better, Mawruss.
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