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Updated: May 7, 2025
I thought "why? Have I affronted anyone? No. Can it be that I am one of those men the mere sight of whom is enough to create animosity?" And I felt a venomous rage gradually filling my soul. "Have a care, Mr. Grushnitski!" I said, walking up and down the room: "I am not to be jested with like this! You may pay dearly for the approbation of your foolish comrades. I am not your toy!"...
This was said rather loudly, and probably with the intention of stinging me. "Aha!" I thought to myself. "You are downright angry, my dear Princess. Wait awhile, there is more to follow." Grushnitski kept following her like a beast of prey, and would not let her out of his sight. I wager that to-morrow he will ask somebody to present him to Princess Ligovski.
He did not see me, and, consequently, it was impossible for me to suspect him of design; but that only magnified his fault in my eyes. "Is it possible, though, that they were really Circassians?" somebody said. "Did anyone see them?" "I will tell you the whole truth," answered Grushnitski: "only please do not betray me.
I understand the method of conversation wonderfully well: mute but expressive, brief but forceful!... She began to sing. She has a good voice, but she sings badly... However, I was not listening. Grushnitski, on the contrary, leaning his elbows on the grand piano, facing her, was devouring her with his eyes and saying in an undertone every minute: "Charmant! Delicieux!"
Why, you are much more interesting as it is! You simply do not know how to avail yourself of your advantageous position... Why, that soldier's cloak makes a hero and a martyr of you in the eyes of any lady of sentiment!" Grushnitski smiled complacently. "What nonsense!" he said. "I am convinced," I continued, "that Princess Mary is in love with you already."
Entering the saloon, I concealed myself in a crowd of men, and began to make my observations. Grushnitski was standing beside Princess Mary and saying something with great warmth. She was listening to him absent-mindedly and looking about her, her fan laid to her lips. Impatience was depicted upon her face, her eyes were searching all around for somebody.
If Grushnitski had not agreed, I should have thrown myself upon his neck; but, after an interval of silence, he rose from his place, extended his hand to the captain, and said very gravely: "Very well, I agree!" It would be difficult to describe the enthusiasm of that honourable company. I returned home, agitated by two different feelings. The first was sorrow. "Why do they all hate me?"
And what would be the good? What am I to you? Could you understand me?"... and so on. He has himself told me that the motive which induced him to enter the K regiment must remain an everlasting secret between him and Heaven. However, in moments when he casts aside the tragic mantle, Grushnitski is charming and entertaining enough.
Beneath the window, amongst a crowd of people, stood Grushnitski, pressing his face to the pane and never taking his eyes off his divinity. As she passed by, she gave him a hardly perceptible nod. He beamed like the sun... The first dance was a polonaise, after which the musicians struck up a waltz. Spurs began to jingle, and skirts to rise and whirl.
"Be it so!" said the captain after an expressive glance at Grushnitski, who nodded his head in token of assent. Every moment he was changing countenance. I had placed him in an embarrassing position. Had the duel been fought upon the usual conditions, he could have aimed at my leg, wounded me slightly, and in such wise gratified his vengeance without overburdening his conscience.
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